Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Friday, June 25

It's been a good few weeks since I last posted and contrary to popular belief my absence is not because the extensive exercise plan killed me off (if only, if only). Nor is it because I have been hiding myself away in shame because my new found crush is a mere 17 years old, a massive 8 years my junior. Oh and thanks for the tip Jooles but was first (only, actually) in the queue to see Mean Girls last week. Yum delicious. Lindsay Lindsay does it make it better if I pretend you are 19?

But ah I digress. Pity. No the reason behind my lack of writing (which has been pretty sparse for months actually) is rather more mundane. I have nothing to say. Mostly because I have done pretty much nothing, unless you consider work a something which at the moment I really don't.

I have had little money and little momentum so let me give you the jist of what I have been doing in like a month. I've danced publicly once (drunken, popper fuelled crap jumping can hardly be considered dancing Miss Fee) although privately with those high-waisted jeans almost daily. I've viewed two flats, one of which was cool but too far away and the other of which was close but too nasty (a bed in the livingroom and green walls, is there a need?). I've been alternating between Buffy reruns and Big Brother 5 which is full of nobs (excluding Nadia and the dear departed Emma). I saw Mean Girls and Day After Tomorrow but not Harry Potter yet. I've been reading Emma Donghue's new title, Life Mask, forever. I've painted my nails 2.5 times. And that's it all wrapped up in a messy brown paper package for you. I'm really that dull.

However, just when you thought it was safe to log on and not have to read my shite (how interesting that would be) a little light shone on my life today. A little light, with teeth and hair, in the form Roisin (pronounced Rosheeeeeen through beared teeth) from River City. If you don't live in Scotland you'll be forgiven for not knowing what the hairy balls I'm talking about. If you do live in Scotland you will not be forgiven for knowing what I'm talking about. River City is a vile Scottish soap if you like. It's full of neds who cannot act and actors who have tried and failed elsewhere (Neighbours and Holby City for example) and all sport the worst example of Scottish accents ever. In short, it's the epitome of Scotland. Its vulgarity and minkoness make it compulsive viewing and good old Roisin (fae the North East) is a local legend. Her eloquent tones and her major tude reflects us Aberdonians so well. The way her voice just breezes through those gritted teeth, the way she tries so hard to pretend she is posh, and the way her nostrils are permanently flared... Divine. Aye ok 'en.

So when someone took the stairs 5 at once to inform me of the goddess's presence I waited with baited halitosis to see if Roison really was all teeth and no lips. She is. She also had a lot of chin to her. That chin is due to a constant tude and not through constant eating. I don't know which is worse. Wow what a vision. What more can be said?

It's a shame really that that's what it took to get me to write a few paragraphs. It couldn't have been something profound or exciting no? Appartenly not.

Oh well, now I really will go hang my head in shame which bodes well as my feet are needing a good clean. Tis sweaty out.