I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else
gay roller disco. I don;t think I will take my own spangly boots for the occasion but I will most certainly be hiring a pair, getting twatted and skating like I, or no one else, has ever skated before. I can barely comprehend the fact that I'm really getting to go. Sadly the main thing I wanted to do, should I ever visit New York, was go to britney's restaurant and steal lots of things but yes it went bankrupt within months. Doubt it. Does she know who I am? Apparently not. Anyway, so much to do such as get a passport (Dic) and locate some more far too cool shops so if anyone can recommend anywhere, do let me know.
Thinking about how much fun we are gonna have
My jaunt to the country on Saturday with my girl
Bandanas round wrists
Hello Kitty armwarmers
Not having a passport (spaz)
Oh the jealousy
The farts that follow North American Potato Cassorole - stand back
My power diet - 6 weeks to lose at least one gut. Smart
6/30/2003 01:15:00 PM
M. Luminous and I will now visit THIS site daily. You should too.
6/27/2003 12:40:00 PM
And so I go to find something else to moan about. It wont be hard.
PS I have a feeling that girls at this uni are becoming a bit more easy going about pooping in public. Is this the Summer of Skid? It just seems that every turd leaves a trace. I'm sure when uni was more densely populated skids were few and far between but now I cannot enter a cubicle withough being faced with pebble-dashing of some degree. I really wish they'd leave the urge to turd at home or at least wait till I have eaten my peanut butter sandwich.
My double length sweatband (pink/black/studded)
Not having to work nights or weekends for the next 6-weeks
Bracelets that clink
Wimbledon (hot chicks,small skirts)
The 'something' that appears to have congealed on my face
People being sad
The nailvarnish I have on which I am sure was burgandy but is now a nasty shade of brown...
The vile smell that appears to be clinging to my wide nostrils
6/25/2003 12:30:00 PM
So, I picked a random blog from Blogging Brits and this Wookie will be dumping more than just thoughts on the world if the canteen curry continues... beware indeed...
Our danger-of-dumping Wookie took us far and wide... or no where actually... Not a link in sight and so I was forced to pick another random blog from a webring. And so I found the title 'Girly Gang: 5 girls and a blog party' too good to miss out on. Sadly it was all blog and no party and no real gang propping up the door allowing only those on the guest list in. I was already for a fight too. And once again no links. NO links whatsoever. I don't like blogs that have no links. It broke my stride. What, you too good to form links with other sites? Not even a webring link so how can the gang be part of the one that I found them via?? So i retraced my steps and tried again.
It had to be tongue in cheek, mainly because I thought it was a metaphor for rimming. It was not. I moved on again. Big fat blog because I thought it was a metaphor for me. It could have been. It was about obesity and all things related. I was once again stuck for links getting annoyed.
And just when I'm ready to abandon my blog journey that was one wrong turn after another, I find this title: You are a china shop, I am a bull. And then I find the blog. And then I wasn't so sad afterall. And from there I was introduced to Leigh the Pony because Leigh is a pony. Yes. And lovely Leigh passed me toward My Little Pony which completed my short trip through cyberspace and I managed to visit at least 6 blogs I have never seen before. It was quite enjoyable if not a little frustrating and reminded me that there is a pony called Lickety Split which people still don't believe me about.
Away now to justify to my lecturer why I have done very little but gotten paid to do so much more. Aah.
6/24/2003 04:06:00 PM
Away to see how many people I can get to say hello to me without resorting to yelling, screaming and nipping.
My new research job
Being paid for Internet trawling (......)
The total lack of supervision in this job
Flattery, it really does get you everywhere :-)
Split ups :-(
Chapped lips when they stick to cold cans
The fact I been feeling so shitey lately
My hair. Big. Again
6/23/2003 01:58:00 PM
1) Having never been upside down on a roller coaster and being scared to do so, I will do this.
2) I will watch a scary movie at the cinema. Something else I have never done and hoped I never would.
3) I will give up cheese for 2 weeks
4) I will read a 'classic', if I manage to stay awake.
5) I will wear a skirt to graduation
6) I will get a new piercing
7) I will lose weight (giving up cheese for 2 weeks may allow me to do this...)
8) I will learn to drive
The only thing I actually look forward to is the new piercing. I just needed the motivation to add another to my diminishing collection. The removal of cheese from my diet will begin for 14 days on Monday. I would start it today but as I am celebrating, I need cheese. And lots of it. I think for my scary movie I will see Identity but I must be allowed to sit on a aisle seat incase of sudden bowel eruptions. Sadly this is not an option for the roller coaster thing. I will just have to let it fly through the seat of my pants. The skirt at graduation is a slight cop out because I will wear it over trousers and let's not yet talk about the possibility of learning to drive, properly. I mean I already have 63 lessons under my more than ample belt so how many more can it possibly take??
Something else I gotta tell you. I have been offered a 'studentship' at the university for 6 weeks. Paid. I start on Monday. Do you think I am now an official geek? Or am I just talented, as a certain someone who also bagged a 2:1 might say? I'd go with the former. Though I will never resort to brown, forest green or chinos. The glasses and the unkempt hair are not a problem however.
Anyway, this nerd is off to do very little and prepare for tomorrow night's party. Life is all good.
6/20/2003 02:22:00 PM
So, how was your weekend? Mine was swell but the two day hangover is not. I managed to stay up till, wait for it... 6am. Only once have I ever lasted that long and that was some new year when I ended up on the wrong bus home and had to walk for miles and hours in the not so desirable areas of the city to get to my home. I am such a lightweight and a sleepy turd that I am usually packed away to bed before I turn violent or weepy by 2am. So I don't know what happened on Saturday. We drank for about nine hours (and I didn't puke, woo hoo) and I can probably piece together about an hours worth of events. It was fantastic though. There were no traumas (though my sweet J Bo, can we please please listen to at least one full song next time??), no vomits and plenty of carrying ons. There was tomato juggling, fanny showing, poofs recreating the fanny look for themselves, much bad dancing, poof porn, many declarations of 'friends forever' and generally so much hilarity. But, after a whole 3/4 hours sleep from Satudary to Sunday, yesterday I was feeling so weird. I hallucinated a little and felt like I may pass out at any given moemnt but he pivotal point was when I went out with my folks for a Fathers day meal and had to leave early because I had to keep shaking my head to keep me from spinning out into madness. It was not a good look. But anyway, it was worth it. And now I go to meet my J Bo for some much needed coffee so enjoy your Monday. Me and mocha will.
Today's Likes (this may be hard)
Harry Potter out on Saturday!
My hair, today it decides to behave
My baby Lil Red
My nails, so beautiful
People who drink through the sports cap on bottles. The noise is sick.
Too many men in chinos.
Embarrassing yourself in front if those who know you least
The fact I can barley see out these alsmost non-existant eyes
Baldy Bushes (contradiction)
6/16/2003 11:40:00 AM
6/12/2003 10:23:00 AM
What else can I say about last night? What about the pseudo friendships that are always so apparent absolutely everywhere? It’s a fickle fickle world out their in the land of gay. People seem to float from group of friends to group of friends, using up their ‘coolness’ with one group and moving on to the next. Of course this isn’t true of all gay people because I for one think that I have genuine friendships that are not based on Saturday night alone. I guess being friends with people on Saturday nights only does not allow you to truly ever get to know a person, to learn all their amazing qualities as well their annoying idiosyncrasies. And vice versa of course. They need never see your tantrums that you have about your work, they never see the issue you have with your self as a whole and basically they never see you sober. Would these Saturday night friends like you the same if they knew you are without the vodka? What do you have to argue with these people about? What do you have to share with these people apart from a common interest in alcohol and dancing? However, with proper friends, maybe more so in a larger group, there is always an issue. It’s impossible to get together without someone being pissed at someone else or without tears. I guess that’s just what happens. I wish it wouldn’t but I guess that my head is always up my arse as far as friends are concerned and I guess I expect too much in my ideal Fee world where everyone would get on equally, there would be no bitching and every night would be perfect. But I guess maybe life would be less interesting without these issues thrown at us huh? I guess if you can remain as a close group, despite everyone’s failings then I guess that’s what true friendship is. Because for every slightly annoying trait each person has (I’m sure I have the most), they have 100 more brilliant traits that remind you of why you are friends in the first place. And life is good and life is great and the birds will sing forever more. Ah, let me ponder on that happy thought for a while. Enough already. Jesus. Did I just get serious for a minute? Depending on how fast you read it could have been anywhere from 2 seconds to a lengthy 10 minutes actually. Anyway, I never know how to end the serious bits so I’ll tell you that talk on Saturday night was prodominently about poop and our endless fascination with the subject. My favourite poop tale of the evening was ‘The never ending story’. Nice.
And so I go to wash my belly which I am currently eating my dinner off because then I don’t even have to use my hands os it’s so close to my face. Bu bye now.
My new pink-mirrored ring
Big Brother, getting better, Tania anyone?
Alcohol farts, nothing more satisfying, apparently
Veggie Butteries with cheese slices
Being manhandled by lesbians
Hot lesbos getting chatted up by vile specimens
My queer shape
My hair in the humidity, Monica Gellar/Bing has nothing on me
The loss of yet another hair extension which leaves me with a sole pink one
6/10/2003 12:31:00 PM
Are you between the ages of 33 and 43? Do you live in Aberdeen and drink in Revolution and Jumpin’ Jacks? Do you shop in GAP and Markies on your lunch break? On a Friday night, in the pub straight from work, have you been known to wear thigh chafing brown mock leather trousers? Do you have a friend/sister who also wears such skinny trousers but who looks ten times better in hers than you do? Does your hair, which is brown, fluffy and very bouffant-ic, have a tendency to get larger as the night progresses and even slip forward to give you a distinct pirate look? As you get drunker, do you find yourself harshly pronouncing certain words and trying to be the centre of attention? Again, as you get more wasted (I can’t quite remember your drink), do you find that you have trouble getting in and out of your fake animal skin trousers? Once you are as good as inebriated do you find your global bum shimmying down stairs while you throw your head back in pseudo sexiness? Do you have one gay male friend who you obviously want to ride? And have you ever had your ass prodded by the index finger of what you thought to be a girly red head? If you think this is you, Wiggy Wilma, please contact me. We only want to be your friend. Well really we want to stalk you but we haven’t seen you now in weeks and are worried that you have trimmed your wig and that now we no longer recognise you. And for the record, it wasn’t the red head who stabbed your podgy ass with her pointing finger, it was me but don’t get your chuffers again, I don’t actually want to touch your bare flesh. I just wanted to see if there was movement when your ass, which was so tightly encased in leather, was prodded. Anyway Wilma, or whatever your name is, we really would like to know more about your whereabouts so we can be proper stalkers. I hope you understand.
The freaks from the bars who can’t help but stare at you.
PS Oh and you have a mouth like a hen’s arse.
So readers, in case you are wondering what the hell I am rambling about (and not for the first time), basically we saw the most amazingly oddly large haired woman one night and since then we have seen her on a few occasions and we are on a need to know much more basis. I don’t know why. Maybe if you had met this woman she would have had a similar impact on your life. But maybe we just need something to fill the many dull hours in Aberdeen.
Anyway, do have a good weekend, mines will probably be full of traumas, such as getting ID-ed at the shite gay bar and then subsequently sweating to near BO death in said gay bar. The heat was so preposterous in that newly carpeted dump (who carpets a club?) that far too many boobless wonders were cutting around in the buff and making those fully clothed both jealous and spewy. Bu bye now.
My nail varnish - so sparkley it’s the bomb (inappropriate for foreplay however)
New Boxfresh skirt, tis also the bomb
Wensleydale and cranberry cheese
Dreaming about never working again
Pink camouflage wrapping paper
People who hint about stuff but can’t actually come out and say things
My hair that just won’t calm down
My swollen missing eyes
Sock fluff in toes
6/06/2003 10:38:00 AM
And so I go to try and erase the thought of me mothering anything that’s alive and ponder why life is so cruel as to give me such large hair on such a beautiful day.
PS Is it just me or are/were Steps completely fabulous? Actually, don’t answer that.
6/05/2003 12:45:00 PM
Adventures of Charmin
Ariel Pay it Forward
Come to the Dark Side...
Dirty Little Homos
Fash Mag Slag
Het (aka Quickfit)
Hit the Jag Spot...
Knee Deep In It...
Life and Times of a Desperado
On Top of the World>