Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


My 100 Things

Mail Me

Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Monday, December 3

What’s the best thing to do after a three-day bender? Picture it: you’re feeling like a mouldy toldy, you’re looking like a piece of regurgitated beef patty and you smell worse than a chuff that has been encased in polyester for weeks on end so, what do you do? Yes, you and your girlfriend force yourselves to get out of your cosy bed, borrow someone else’s eyes, raid the old copper jar and then head to the arcades, at the beach, in minus degree temperatures. Sensible? Probably not.

My winnings amounted to 8p, our game of mini bowling (which cost us our last pound) got stuck half-way through and was rendered unplayable and we ordered £1.50 pizza which tasted like hot paper with a scraping of brand own tomato sauce proving that you really do get what you pay for. But yet we still managed to laugh our gay asses off at a bunch of random crap, including the big adult female who got on one of the arcade horses and proceeded to vigorously, yet unrythymimically, ride her way to the finish line of the horse racing game – possibly the funniest but most tragic thing I have ever witnessed whilst under the influence of E numbers.

So yes, the weekend was super. We saw Kings of Leon who rocked my socks on Saturday night, the final day of the bender so clearly I was going to be the drunkest thing in life (after Bo of course). The funniest part was the bus journey from hell afterwards which saw us sneaking on for free, despite Rigid Girl’s attempt to pervert the course of injustice and get us off the bus. Bo then developed an ingenious way of smoking on the bus; she stuffed it through the rubber panel in the middle of the door so the lit end was outside, so ‘technically it was not illegal…’ Again, Rigid Girl was not impressed and a series of tuts and hair flips were cast in our general direction but you know what? Bothered? Strangely no. We got jammed in the doors as we legged it off the bus, after pulling the emergency button and proceeded to get further fucked amidst a flurry of Cava, fags, vomit and god knows what else. Total carry on from start to finish but no complaints here.

And so I go attempt to eliminate that weird smell that is emanating from some part of me… enough said.