Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


My 100 Things

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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Friday, April 27

Fee Entered a Special Needs Dance Off… And won!

“I found a place where Fee can boogie”

Say. No. More

Britney Wannabe

4/27/2007 12:24:00 PM

Monday, April 23

I’m such a chunky monkey. I’ve always been a bit of a lardy lesbo and it’s always been something I’ve had an issue with but yet, I am incapable of fixing the problem. I mean, I’m not totally adverse to exercise; I walk at least 6 miles a day (I would rather walk everywhere than suffer the stress of public transport) but when it comes to intense, sweat inducing physical movement, then I just can’t do it. My plans to play squash have so far amounted to sourcing a place to play. My promises to join the girls from work for a spot of tennis have caused me to ‘work from home’ on the days they play because my excuses to not take part are so pathetic. The ‘sit-up’ regime I planned for myself lasted one morning and the step machine I bought has lived under the bed since I acquired it. I even thought about purchasing an aerobics DVD by an ugly soap star in an attempt to rid myself of my blubbery badness but alas, you know what thought did.

And so Bella the Belly remains and I fear that I will never be rid of her obnoxious presence. I mean, it is she who expands beyond my expectations on a hangover day and allows me to eat my body weight in cheese and bread. If she weren’t so eager to be the biggest belly in town I wouldn’t feel the need to pander to her demands and stuff her full of dairy and wheat that will forever be ensconced under my baggy clothes. Yes, Bella is innocuous under the sweater vests, under the jumpers, under the over-sized Tshirts but as soon as I get too comfortable with her, deluding myself that she is smaller than the mirror suggests, I wear something a little tighter and wooooah, there she is, in her full glory, for all to see, hanging over my jeans, oozing out of my apparently too tight tops. I’d like to get her sucked out, or even ease her out of my life gently over a period of time but I worry that Bella and I are companions for life. We’ve been through a lot together and it would be sad to see her go but for the sake of my clothes I am going to commence the Free Bella campaign. If anyone has any valid (non sweat inducing) suggestions as to how to go about this, please get in touch.

And so I go suffer the consequences of feeding Bella with rice cakes and chick pea pate.

Today’s Likes

Hanging out with Golden Boy in Edinburgh
Afternoon naps; I’m how old?
Partying with the crew at the weekend
My best buddy, Bo

Today’s Dislikes

My chewed nails which I devoured in the absence of crisps
5 days till the weekend
Neighbours banging on the wall
The party aftermath that has still to be tidied

Listening to: Mayaheee, mayahoo, mayahaha aka Ozone. Could I be more gay?

Britney Wannabe

4/23/2007 03:16:00 PM

Monday, April 2

Ali Larter is not the only reason for my new obsession with Heroes but she does play a huge part in it because bugger it, I am that shallow.

Always slow to catch on, I watched the first 4 episodes of this yesterday (opting for hot chicks rather than appreciating the glimmer of sun we were privy to yesterday). I was enthralled by the storyline and enrapatured by the delectable Ali Larter who I vagely remember being PVC clad in Jay and Silent Bob. How the hell SHE slipped off my radar I do not know.

And, if this is what she looks like in the new Resident Evil film, I will be first in line, on my own but for my bib to catch the drool, when it opens here (unless, of course, I have already missed it which would really not surprise me). Twit ta wooooooooo.

So, a wonderful weekend was had with my lovely friends and am looking forward to the day being over so I can get my gay ass home, crack open some Tizer and sit open mouthed (chins ahoy) at the fuzzy TV. I am so rock ‘n’ roll it hurts.