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I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else My Profile
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My excitement of last night was sticking my arse in the oven cos it was the only place in my flat generating any heat. I did this well after it was past the 'comfortable' phase and only removed my hot ass when the blisters began to rise, a bit like bread only less tasty I imagine. My plight of a busted bolier has been ongoing now for almost 4 days and while it is easy enough to shove your ass in the oven to get heat, there is no easy way to have a cold shower so as you can well imagine my flat is full of stinkin' BO bettys. And while this is utterly foul, it does guarantee myself and my flatmates personal space and a great deal more on the tube. So we have turned our festering armpits and much worse to our advantage. As we are the most rottenest thing since last years malingering ooze that is toffee yoghurt which has been hanging out in our fridge since then, we find that we now attract nobody but the tramps from down the road who have picked us out to be 'one of them'. We take much pleasure in drinking flat cider with our new buds who smell slighly worse than us and therefore make us look relatively clean. So while we are havin fun in the 'under belly' of Tescos we really need a plumber... preferably a female one lookin not unlike Charlene from Neighbours in greasy overalls but without the 80s 'relaxed' perm... oh she was a mechanic... wouldn't that do?? Personally I'd say yes but thinkin we dont really need that oil change and a simple bit of warmth is all we require... but the overalls... couldnt we just hire a mechanic anyway? For my own personal use?? Will put this request to the others but am guessing the poof and straight bird (Brian and Narinder have nothin on these 2) will disagree. However, A, my bonding straight male mate will approve, the man has impeccable taste (come on, he likes Britney for god sake!)Will keep myself updated on the 'cut glass' nipple syndrome.
Britney Wannabe 
2/21/2002 10:26:00 AM
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Adventures of Charmin |
