Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Wednesday, February 27

This is a simple dedication to the one, the only J.Bo.

Here’s your mention and do know that I am always thinkin’ about you and your bellies. I have grown 3 since arriving here, which brings my belly count to a total of 7. I know that you have lost one, it must have been traumatic, and while I am upset that you are slimming down, I still respect and adore every last one of your bellies. I also believe that you are missin my chins ‘swingin in the wind’ but me and 43 chins will be home in just over a week which is as long as it will take for me to gather up my bellies and chins and get them onto the plane. Me and my excess face and gut have had a good ol’ time in London and it has been swell (and my how they are always swelling). The food is the only thing I am concerned with and it has been immense. I told you that I lost a chin to the London Underground after it got jammed in the doors but I didn’t tell you about my other unfortunate accident. I went to the Zoo and despite being continually mistaken for one of the attractions (hippos or rhinos mainly, sometimes a shed) I lost another chin. My flopping chins were greasey due to the over indulgence in chinese noodles and steak pie and apple danishes and bombay mix and as my chins are plentiful they hang down low. Now, on this occasion it was a blustery day and my chins kept untucking themselves from the waistband of my baggy fanny jeans as it was very gusty (as was my arse after the bombay mix). I tried to throw my many chins over my shoulder but alas, they were too heavy and so I just had to mind where I was standing. I was making my way to the apes, where I swear I saw you, with all the birds peckin at my loose skin when I caught the heel of my brown boot (because I am unfortunate enuff to have a gammy leg also) in chin number 39 and over I went, scuffing all 43 chins horrifically along the ground. And as if this wasn’t bad enough, the Zoo keeper approached me cautiously and netted a chin! The man stood their in all his glory and held aloft my detached chin. And I could do nothin but weep for my loss. And that is the story of how I lost another chin, its not because I cut down on my meat feast pizzas to 76 per day, honest, J Bo. Please don’t be upset, I forgave you when you lost a belly and left me and my chins stranded at Fat Club all on our own. My layers of chubs are always there for you, no matter how slender and lean you get (cos you’ll still always be ginger and therefore afflicted). And so I beg for your forgiveness.

Lovingly yours, F. Bo and her many chins