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I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else My Profile
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Everything yesterday was fuckin stupid. The hangover in collaboration with swollen glands made me real grouchy and moany. Every person was fuckin stupid and doing something fuckin stupid. Stupid folk on the bus were breathing too loudly or taking up too much room or just generally being there, being fuckin stupid.
The stupidest thing about yesterday was that people everywhere were cycling around on fuckin stupid bikes. Why pedal your way down Union Street on a penny-farthing getting your slacks stuck in the spokes and looking fuckin stupid? Why do fuckin stupid people not realise that a non-fuckin stupid bike can be purchased for the likes of £35. If I had such a stupid bike I’d even steal one to avoid looking so fuckin stupid. What’s a night in a cell if it saves you for even one day from looking fuckin stupid? I’d so rather piss in front of 40 lesbos on smack than ride around on a fuckin stupid bike. But instead, these people choose to cycle around on rusted kids bikes with massive wheels (an over compensation for tiny tits I guess) and mud guards (heaven help they may get a muddy back) that go slower than a virgin couple. It’s not only fuckin stupid but also fuckin dangerous and makes for a very irritable Fee. People wear such fuckin stupid clothes. Stupid tops with only one sleeve, one shoulder and no tits to put inside the stupid thing. Make the decision, are you hot or are you cold? Contradictions suck and are fuckin stupid. And attachable flowers for day wear? I don’t think so. You wouldn’t see J Bo pulling off the stick on Rosie of the River look while popping into Boots for her feminine hygiene. Fuckin stupid. And asses. The amount of fuckin stupid asses I saw yesterday was unbelievable. Young B and I, caffeined up through much tea drinking, decided to play a game. It began when we saw another long bum banging against the back of knees. Why are people so fuckin stupid that they think ‘blue jeans arse’ is attractive and gropeable? You wouldn’t know which part of cheek to go for first (top, middle or bottom? There’d be a hefty money prize in it if you could get your hands on all three areas at once, not bloody likely) And those fuckin stupid jeans with no pockets on the ass make for a lot of wide saggy asses. Fit one of these asses into a pair of bootcut jeans and it’d probably look quite hot. We thought about investing in a digital camera to have a lasting memory of people and their stupid arses. We are gonna dedicate an entire website to this ‘trend’ of bad asses. Any submissions gladly accepted. When the long bums departed we thought we’d check out every other arse in the place for any other misdemeanours. One ass we saw was stood at the bar and was clenched and unclenched more times than I’ve said the words ‘fuckin stupid’ but clearly this chick’s arse tensing exercises had not paid off. She just looked fuckin stupid, grimacing away looking like she was raising both cheeks to let a huge fart go while her cheeks jiggled away nicely. The amount of bums that ‘spoke’ to us as they sashayed on by was funny. The bouncy cheeks appeared to be chatting away to each other with all the creasing and rearranging of pants that went on. Many others just looked like they had a whole packet of hubba bubba stuffed in, chewing away trying to force out a bubble. We saw one ‘global bum’ which even in bootcuts was still the size of Aberdeen and the surrounding areas. The lass wasn’t even big all over which made it unnormal. She had like a tiny head, skinny waist and this gigantic arse which would have served at least four people well. That’s greed that is. And while cellulite is a fact of life, why advertise how much you have by wearing light coloured tights ass trousers that make yer ass look like a fruit scone. Poc marked is regular on faces but on asses? Please, keep it to yourself. Why do people impose such atrocities upon their unsuspecting asses? Such a pretty face, such a long, badly done up ass. Why make so much effort to make your face beautiful only to turn round and have an ass like a mashed up pie speaking away to you as if it’s your best mate? I don’t get it. Ladies sort your asses out, please. One final point, if you’re a guy it’s real good to have a big nob right? Does this work with girls and their fannies? Do they have competitions to see whose measures up best? ‘Hey my muff is bigger than yours, jealous?’ ‘Mine’s is a good half metre while you only got 20 cm and that includes pubes.’ I can’t imagine this happening so why oh why do fuckin stupid people wear trousers that ‘accentuate’ the size of their fannies? One fanny began around the belly button area and seemed to go on to mid thigh. That’s a large fanny. Possibly not the world’s biggest but pretty close. Nob lovers tend to get excited when they see the shape of nob through trousers but I don't know any fanny fan that appreciates the view of minge through tight trousers. We all know the shape of a fanny but that doesn’t mean we need to look at the huge triangles while drinking a beer does it? Britney Wannabe 
4/24/2002 10:35:00 AM
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Adventures of Charmin |
