Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Monday, April 1

How on earth can I be so unlucky that I always choose (that’s right, I choose) to sit next to the person chewing like a goddamn animal? What makes me deserve to listen to that antisocial noise? Why do people think this is 1982 and that blowing bubbles is cool? Only Madonna can blow bubbles cooly as she struts around miming to ‘holiday’ with a backcombed perm and cropped stonewashed denim jacket. It’s funny when his ‘non stick’ gum gets embedded in his mustache though. And how come no amount of dirty looks will make him stop? How rude. No consideration whatsoever. Fuck I get mad easily.

After a disappointing day of madness (only in the head unfortunately) yesterday I tried to calm down by getting into the whole uni work thing. This worked for about 40 minutes, which is actually good by my standards as my concentration levels are minimal. The reason I got over my need to do uni work was once again, Britney. She is a bad influence on me I tell you. I cranked up the first album and had a boogey around the house to ‘the beat goes on’ until it got the better of my parents who came storming through to inform me that it was coming through the living room speakers and Britney was disturbing their Inspecter Morse viewing. What a sight for my mother to see, Miss Fee for some reason trying to mosh to Britney. Fee trying to mosh is a sight bad enough anyway but this was like witnessing a live sex show, no grace, plenty of panting and more than a trickle of sweat and over confident ‘oh babys’ being hollered around. Not a good look. And so it is 4pm Monday and my presentation is half done. It looks ok, done all pretty on powerpoint with a nice pink background and with a nice porn theme. Well, I got my pictures of Jo Guest up to keep at least me happy and to disgust my lecturer. I also have pictures of Mayfair magazine (wank mag, men’s) because I did happen to meet the editor, the lovely Danny King who offered me ‘work experience’. They even offered to black out my eyes so nobody would know it was me… how thoughtful. I am at the skintest level I have been at since I received 50p pocket money a week when everyone else got £10 (so I couldn’t spend it all on chocolate) so the offer is a tempting one. And while my presentation may look like I spent more than 10 minutes on it (right enough, I managed almost 20 minutes), the only part I have actually memorised is the Jo Guest part and the entire presentation lasts only 3 minutes (it’s supposed to be 10). I am sure I can ramble on about the delectable Jo for a further 7 mind you. I don’t think it will score me any extra points however. But I will be able to rationalise her tits and fanny by the end of it.

Oh I don’t know if any of you readers have noticed that I have a ‘rate me’ facility on the edge of my blog (underneath my classy links) but it’s new and if ever anyone feels the urge to give me a top score I would be more than grateful and there may well be an over eager lick or two in it for you. If not then do not worry cos someone’s already getting a kicking for rating my blog ‘hate it’. I guessed it was tryhardloser just to be a bit funny but then decided it must be one of my lesbian fan club because let’s face it, they love me. They still keep reading it, whether they hate it or not, it gives me absolute power to know that they have a sneaky read almost daily.

And so, what will I do tonight? Really I should stay in and revise my presentation so it’s word perfect and so my usual stutter doesn’t take ahold but I had various text messages from various people (5 to be honest) and have been invited out. Hurrah!! The Fee is semi popular. I know it’s cos everyone loves a good laugh at the expense of Fee and even if I am only invited out for the mocking that people love to inflict upon me, I am so going. So it’s a Mudd Club evening. It’s been at least 6 months since I was last there but this is one place you can be guaranteed will never change. It’s kinda skanky, as are some of the people that go there but I guess that’s no different than most places. My only problem with the Muff club is that there is not a hope in hell of dancing to Britney. It’s not that kinda place. But I will just overdo the Britney dancing before Foxy picks me up and I will have my fix for the evening. And by the time I get in a small enclosed space with Foxy, I will have as good as forgotten about not dancing to Britney for one night. I have placed a drinks limit on myself of 3 as this seems quite normal for me. I have to be at uni by 10am to do this presentation malarky so I am very much looking forward to the non amounts of sleep I will get tonight, after my 14 hours last night.

Listening to: a nob eating like a pig

Today’s Likes

Diet Lilt
Feelin semi awake
The word ‘moist’
Being popular for 10 minutes
Going out

Today’s Dislikes

Furry beards
Noisy fuckers
Being at uni at 4.30
Scubby lips…