Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Tuesday, April 2

Is it just me or is there something real sexy about a girl driving a car? I got a lift home from Foxy last night and I was sat in the back, trying not to watch her but it was so hard. I could see her in the mirror and just observing her drive made me feel weird, like it was all wrong but she is hot so stare and try not to look leacherous I did.

I threw my presentation together all ready for the following day and decided that the only thing to do was go out. As I had had SO many texts from people actually wanting me to be there I really thought I should. I had every good intention of drinking 3 drinks and leaving around 12am. I began drinking, alone, in my house and 3 bottles of Stella later I was suitably drunk enough to face the public transport. I needed a fag badly. My mother smokes More Menthols. I had to. There was no other choice. For anyone who has never seen one of these treasures, they are about 2 foot long, as slender as pencil lead and deep shit brown. It was dark. I didn’t think anyone would see me. I still had a good 10 minutes before the bus so I made my way to the bus stop with snooker cue wedged in the corner of my mouth. Twenty minutes later I was still waiting for the bus, and still smoking the same cigarette. The bus pulled up unexpectedly as I inhaled my twig, to the delight of the packed with nobs bus. I was mortified but I stamped out my cigarette as elegantly as I could with these 2 sizes too big shoes on. And on I went to buy some real fags, Silk Cut. I feel I have an addiction coming on now as even I couldn’t feel the nicotine from the Silk Cut and that was after inhaling the entire fag with one breath. Shit. I need to sort that out. I met Georgie Boy sporting a new indie boy hairdo and drank a further 3 pints. I had already doubled my limit and I felt myself turning sober. Enter J Bo and Mad A for real smokes and real stupidity. How the conversation turned to hairy arses I will never know. Oh it’s cos Beautiful Boy and the Beautiful Host turned up and lowered the tone the way they always do. Oh no that was me sorry. Beautiful Boy told us about the girl he knew who cut the shape of a heart out of a beer coatster, placed it on her bush and trimmed round it for that heart shaped fanny look. Why oh why I do not know. We could hold off the Muff club no longer, after the startling revelations that the heart shaped wonder was someone we knew. I may never look at her again, not that I did much before anyway. The Muff club, so called because it’s full of muff (that’s not a good thing by the way) was dead when we arrived and I even tried to con the coat boy out of a pound. That’s how skint I am. Not to mention how cheap and nasty I am, begrudging a whole £1 to put in a floor length coat that had so much material it really should have been a fiver I coughed up for it. And then there was Foxy. Looking as foxy as ever in a tight white tee and baggys. Nice. I thought about trying to pull Foxy’s friend, American Chick Part Quattro but thought it was grossly inappropriate. Just the usual then. She was flouncing around in bare feet, boy she was brave. I settled my hands on the floor for a mere second only to have them stuck there the rest of the night and they came away with all the shit in the world encrusted onto them. I danced a few times, there seemed to be a bunch of SKA cover versions which was odd. Grease the movie goes SKA, as does Aha, twice. Made for interesting viewing however, as did the girl in a mini kilt and massive chunky boots and bad hair. I did dance to China Drum’s version of Wuthering Heights which has always been a personal favourite and my wish to dance to Britney was fulfilled. Well kinda. The rock version of Crazy which was pretty classy and I will be purchasing on release. My favourite dance of the evening was The Hives, 'hate to say i told u so' and I danced to this in celebration of the fun myself and Straight Man A had in London. being relatively sober i got to see all the bad dancers and really hope that i do not dance like I'm playing the acordian with my big toe. J Bo and Mad A and myself are partial to a bit of club foot dancing but club body and neck brace dancing is the best. heaven help the day I wake up with a broken foot and have to wear the ultimate fashion accessory, a brown boot. I felt like the oldest person in the place. I was as good as tripping over all the mini moshers as I caught my foot on every passing flare. Despite this I did get ID-ed as did Beauitful Boy who is a ripe old 24. I guess The Beautiful Host didn’t get asked for ID… ;-) J Bo did not try to pull me tonight so I had a cry which me even less appealing to her but I think I did manage to cop a good feel. Once again, there may well have been ‘cupping’. All in all I had a smashing night, even though I drunk more than I ever had in my life (6whole drinks, well done me) and sunk into soberness by 9.30pm. I didn’t even puke, that’s a first in about 2 years. I think food was the problem to be honest. Yesterday I ate my cereal, a bun and a salad. That’s as good as what a regular person eats. Still minimal for me but definitely much more than has passed my lips this past 3 weeks. Is my accidental starvation coming to an end? I live in hope. Actually no it’s not. The thought of food still makes me ill and the effort involved with the chewing and swallowing is still huge but I am kinda forcing food down my throat to avoid any embarrassing passing out spells in public. Oh the joys. Off I go to sniff a yoghurt.

Listening to: Britney mini disc

Today’s Like’s

People getting in trouble for doing bad things *chuckle*
“I will be there” Britney
Finishing uni early

Today’s Dislikes

Hangover tiredness
Disguising non eating from parents
Skiiving Uni
Snotty noses (my own mostly)