Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Tuesday, April 23

It has been brought to my attention that my weblog has been bordering on the ‘boring’. I couldn’t agree more but don’t expect interesting things, this is The Fee afterall, Queen of Dull. I don’t know what the downturn in weblog activity is all about, if there had ever been an upturn of course. Fatigue and bored of myself may play an important part in this, I promise to try harder. But probably not today.

Yesterday a pair of mutha fucka breasts bounded their way across the dance floor to greet me with a head snuggle. These massive mammories had a mind of their own and they were begging to be groped or at least put quietly to bed somewhere. This pair of jumbos had at least one flimsy bit of vest not holding them in place. I saw nipple and disk. Not nice. Breasts that big… what would you do with them? It’d be a case of hunt the nipple while being careful to avoid suffocation. Personally I do not have a breast preference and usually do not take notice of other people’s belongings but some you can’t help but notice and stare in wonder/confusion at. I think large breasts intimidate me. Like boys and their ‘mine is bigger than yours’ issue with nobs, I have a breast one. Jealousy will not get me bigger paps however. Just thought I’d say.

Speaking of breasts and thinking bout underwear I went to see Britney again yesterday (for free, even better). Explain something to me. A film is scheduled to start at 3.50pm, trailers and erotic ads usually take up at least 15 minutes so how was it possible for myself and Young B to stroll into to see the Queen of hotness at 4.05pm and already have missed the first 20 minutes of the film? Of course that means we did infact miss not one but 2 underwear scenes. No wiggly lil ass cheeks for the lesbos. Being rather drunk it was hard not to leer at the screen in the loudest possible voice and incite others to yell ‘lesbos’ at us. We tried.

We played a mean game of mini bowling, well more like 2 cos Fee is a real bad loser and wanted to prove a point and still got her ass whipped. No, that was the lady I gave the wedgie to. You can’t beat a wedgie. Wedgie definition: pulling the back of someone’s pants upwards so they dig right into the crack and cause severe pain (if carried out correctly) and also causing major pant discomfort. I give a mean wedgie, so I have been told. Once I ripped someone’s DKNY pants in the process, think I caused someone to skid their bifs also. Not nice.

Well as I am being boring yet again and as I have uni in an hour I should slip out of my cheked PJs and into something a little less comfortable but I will return to tell you all about pained Goths and jobbies in pants dancers.