It’s 9am and I smell of dog food. I’ve had around 4.5 hours sleep and I have no idea why I smell of meaty chunks. Once again I found myself being party king last nite. Work and uni caused so much stress that I was unable to resist the lure of vodka and beer. Yeah sure. Because I am a classy lady I found myself drinking beer down the street and felt like it really should have been buckfast. I met some people including Glaswegian Chick Numero Ono, slutwhoreprostitutetart (who really was last night…), Beautiful Boy and his pretty boyf and a couple of randoms I do not know and will probably never see again. It was then off to my first real visit of Revolution, an upmarket Vodka bar, to sample the delights of cherry vodka and various shots (ok 1 and a half). It wasn’t too long before I decided that water was my drink of choice (possibly after these said shots and one vodka and one alcopop, very impressive stuff.) I guess I was wrecked, I always am but clearly not as wasted as a usual drinking night out as there was no vomit. This pleased me as my hair was freshly washed and the look of drippin’ puke in clean hair (any hair) is not a good one. I will drink in this bar more often. I saw numerous people I had not seen in years and who by this time should have forgotten me. I also saw what I remember to be the ‘school stud’ (male) and on more than one occasion I caught him staring at the beautiful Fee. This is someone who would not have looked at me twice at school for fear of catching something nasty and here he was having a good ogle, with his greasy locks in check and still kinda pretty face. Oh well, being a bender I guess that won’t be happening. I had been in the more skanky vodka bar in the afternoon, not doing much of the drinking thing and I was stood at the bar waiting for the hot ass barmaid to serve me drinks when some dude orders a pint of lager with ONE ice cube and a dash of lime. That’s all wrong. The barmaid and I had a discussion about the strangeness of such a conncotion when the guy turns to me and asks ‘Is it strange to be kissing you?’ And he says this as he as good as licks my face with his old rubbery tongue. Well, no not the last time I tried, I thought I was quite a hot snog to be honest. But anyway, this incident gave me and hot ass something to bond over and there was eye contact that lasted way over 4 seconds (way past ‘sexual’ level). Oh and she also looked like Faith, still does rather. But anyway, I’ve gotten carried away with thinking bout hot chicks, again. And so from Revolution we moved onto Priory which was full of people I go to uni with that I have no desire to know any better. This didn’t stop me talking to every single one of them however. In the Priory we tried out Straight Man A’s trick of queue jumping (sorry!) by throwing the name Northsound around and we breezed on by. Nice one. There was much dancing to be done (people even on chairs goddamn!) and water to be downed before declaring that the night was as good as over. It was around here that we saved another girl (I will not be using the word ‘friend’) from uni from the perils of going home with a stranger. This is not someone I like, let’s get that straight. What thanks did we get? She slagged my friends, ‘homosexuals’ and still stood there proving too many non points and looking ugly. Not to mention the fact that she got so high pitched that ears were bleeding. NOB. She is trashy and slaggy and four years old. And an ‘early’ night turned into a silly late night and today there is much tiredness and ugliness. But I guess that’s the norm. I need to drink less/more. And away The Fee goes to show face/arse at work.