Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


My 100 Things

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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Sunday, April 14

Last night was spew filled. I know this is very regular for The Fee but 3 pukes in one night aint so normal. The night began with rose wine because I knew there would be a spew so I thought it better if it was a pretty colour so if it were to stain my hair I could pass it off as another hair extension. This was all very well, pink wine resting on a bed of a tuna wrap and raw chip butty and I even had images of no puke and then it all went herbal. Combine this with full strength Malboros (christ I can't even handle the pussy Malboro Lights) and hello Mr Sick.. With my blotchey face and pretty people in tow I set off for some quality dancing. Because I never go anywhere else, I really don't do change, we went to Castros to light up the world with our combined beauty. It was here I had the follow up barfs. People now see me coming and get out of my cubicle cos I'm that renouned. My knees have left a fat imprint from where I kneel every single bloody week. I danced a lot with Queen of Fun who shook her ass like the cute lil thang that she is and spinning heads and shutting eyes had me home by 1.30am. I am the heavyweight of lightweights. And proud. I had every intention of staying out till maybe 2.15 but cross eyes aren't eally suited to me and it's around this time that I make a bigger arse of myself than usual, if that's possible. I wish I were a peaceful drunk. This morning I was lucky to wake up to my Holly Valance who is not even nude in her video. Cleverly placed tape ensures that no matter at what angle I look, I will see no flesh that I shouldn't. Gutted like a flamin' mackeral I tell you. While I did not wake up with a suspicious rash today I did wake up with small bruises on my face that are no particular shape. I think Queen of Fun has something to do with it. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. I think I was prodded. It is now 3pm and I am still no further forward with my essays. I think I will do one and not the other and feign stupidity. Like that would be hard. I did however get my fishy fingers on a copy of tryhardloser's nu CD, Best Bootlegs in the World. It really is wonderful. My favourite is 'Smells like Booty', which equals Nirvana vs Destiny's Child. Magnificient. I don't think there is ever a need for 'Sealion Dion' however.

With reference to my 'nasty fashion' list yesterday I have another bad boy to add.

Body Suits
For anyone who doesnt remember this fashion faux pas, they are the bits of material that look not unlike baby grows and for some unknown reason clasp under your fanny. They make your tits look saggy, your gut look massive and at the end of the day are sodden in pish and other nastiness and the stench of lady fish never washes out. I never wore body suits.

When my brain really starts to function I will write more and will even do an essay. Just the one mind.

Listening to: DC vs Nirvana