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I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else My Profile
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Quote of the day: Scat? Is it all filth? (Anabel Chong)
Unrequited love is definitely the way forward. This is the reason I find myself so attracted to straight girls and as a rule, have all my life. Ok, generally they are prettier but not all the time. I love them because they don’t love you back. They can’t really hurt you the way lesbians can. Sure they can snog you whenever they feel like it but that’s as far as it goes, for me at least. It seems so much safer to love a straight girl, especially the flirty ones who flatter your ego by pretending that one day it might happen while you know yourself that it wouldn’t, and nor would you want it to. Because then it goes bad. As soon as someone starts loving you back that’s when it all goes terribly wrong and that’s why I prefer to become attached to straight girls cos let’s face it, they will never become attached to me. I’m sure I shouldn’t be this cynical about relationships until I’m at least 45 and have been married at least 4 times but hey, broken hearts suck. And so I will stand by my straight girls, the prettier the better who at least let me know where I stand. And unrequited love never has to die as Vince from Queer as Folk so eloquently put. Speaking of straight girls, I was sat watching Buffy last night, when do I never? And I was around the start of the third series (Faith, Hope and Trick episode to be exact) when in walks hot ass Faith and she reminded me of someone. Yes, you’d be mistaken for thinking that I look not unlike Buffy but Faith no… She looks uncannily like Foxy American Chick Part Deux… I know you’re all desperately trying to remember which is which and this hot young thang is Delectable D from London, the one that kissed me and flashed me her breasts… now it all comes back I’m sure. Now people will understand the obsession, any one that even has one feature similar to Faith is worthy of a lifetime fixation and this gal is as good as a body double… and I’m sure she’d look pure heaven with her tight ass in a pair of leathers. I was asked the other day what my fixation with American chicks is, I’m sure I tried explaining it before. The accent, the fact that every one I have ever met is hotter than all over body burns and the tease game they like to play is also one of my preferred favourites. What would I do were I to live in America? I think it would be hormone overdrive for innocent young Fee. Imagine the choice I would have? Imagine how many obsessions I could create within 10 minutes of landing at JFK? Oh and the air hostesses who flash their massive tits/smiles at everybody. I'm sure I could get at least a nuzzle out of someone on a plane, even were it with the middle aged bloater with the sexy Texas accent sat beside my trying to slip my all 10 fingers. That’s it, I must go to America. I could go to Fat Camp I guess, I know I would fit in there perfectly and I’m sure there would be some hot young counsellors for me to perv and stare open gobbed at. Fuck that, imagine how much exercise I would be expected to do over a 9 week period. More than I could handle in four lifetimes. Exercise is really not my forte. Think I will just find a pretty Aberdonian straight girl (I’ve heard there are a couple…) with the ability to pull of a Nu York accent and the ability to find the word ‘boobies’ hilarious in said accent. Oh I know one of them already, my work is done. I think I am going to become ordained. I don't think my lack of religion should be an issue. I get free gifts and discounts of a whole host of religious goodies. I even get an 'e' bible. Does that mean I can pop pills with the blessing of Mr Holy? Would I get hallucinations of fuckin the Virgin Mary? Who needs drugs for the pleasure of that? I think the robes would suit me. I suit a high collar, well actually, no one can ever suit a high collar as every one is reminiscent of the despicable neck brace which could give Kate Moss a double chin. If I get ordained then I can be called "Rev. Fee The Glitter Queer." Or even Chaplain, or my personal favourite, Evangenlist (despite my lack of ability tobe able to spell the word). I will be able to spread my love/legs all over the world. I wonder if I need to disclose my utter gayness? Considering one of the requirements of being a priest is to be gay I don't think it will be a problem. if I were ordained would I be able to become a nun? I'd love to be a nun, I'm sure they could teach me a thing or 17 about the ways of the gay. Imagine how much ladies in uniforms I could pore my greasey eyes over? the thought is a very exciting one. It don't matter that these ladies will be more likely to be pensioners with age oldness in places I don't want to think about. It does matter that I could reside as a nun in America. Yeah baby! Think I'm going to leave my otherwise uninspired blog for today to think of nothing but the badness of American nuns with all their naughyness that they are dying to show Miss Fee. Listening to: Cher: Living proof (that you don't need a real voice to sing) Today's Likes Blue sky My nu leather coat American Chicks Beaches, naked people a plenty Music no good without you Today's Dislikes Curly hair Shakes Other people's pubes in your sock Lack of interesting things to say blue sky cold air Britney Wannabe 
4/06/2002 11:27:00 AM
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Adventures of Charmin |
