Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Monday, May 13

I’m quite sure no one missed my lack of blogs over the weekend but for any of you that may have actually missed the shite and times of Miss Fee, fear not because I am back. And I’m here to tell you about my wonderful weekend which will probably sound as dull as the ‘property owner with a taste for fine wine’ I had to endure last night but hey, it was all fun at the time. It really has been a great 3 days, hangovers and hallucinations aside that is. My weekend begun on Friday around 7pm and ended about an hour ago and as I can retain information as well as a bulimic retains food, I have forgotten the funny parts that I made a mental note to tell you all about. I don’t know why I even bother with mental notes cause as soon as they enter my tiny mind they simply collect their belongings and leave. Story of my life. Friday was unusual in that it was myself, Beautiful Boy, Straight Man A and Big Boy A. That’s 2 queers and 2 butches. It should have been a strange set up but it really wasn’t and the butch boys (actually both of them have been termed ‘borderline homosexuals’ with a love for leaning and flowers and pink shag bands and are maybe not that blatantly heterosexual after all) were more than happy to hang around in gay bars times deux. Castros was kinda shite, kinda empty and the music sucked. So we decided fuck it, we would splash out on the massive £4 to get in to the new club, Out. I had reservations about this place mostly because of its position in town. It’s located in straight bam land where heterosexuals get regularly attacked so of course there would be call for a spot of queer bashing. Luscious L got punched a few times in the place last week by a straight dick in a burberry shirt. Says it all. I wasn’t particularly concerned for my own personal safety but for all the pretty poofs who are all so fragile. Anyway, the club itself was functioney. I kept expecting people to get up and do the gay gordons at any time. There should have been a buffet filled with stale sandwiches and shrunken party sausages and used paper plates that people have tried to salvage from the last affair. My mum and dad and my aunties and uncles and all my extended family should have been there to shoulder shimmy to a bad disco or jazz band with a sleazy second uncle trying to slip me the tongue. Décor and weddingness aside the club was spacious, you actually had your own personal space while grooving but it was kinda light and all faces were far too visible, including mine which was a nice shade of beetroot. The music was no bad disco, it was pure, quality, top class cheese with an extra serving of parmasan on the side. I was in shakira heaven, twice. Or was that Saturday night? All three nights are kinda blurring into one and details are confused. They did honour every request asked for which was wonderful as getting Castros to play a request for you is like forcing a poof to go out of the house with fluffy hair. Predictably I got Britney, holly valance and sugababes which kept me on the floor shakin’ ma ass like a mad thing. It was one of them nights when I thought I was the best dancer and was giving it all this and it was only when I got home and pulled of similar maneouvers in my mirror did I realise that my belly was floppin out at all angels. Not a good look. Just as well I wasn’t trying to impress anyone with my floor shakin’ moves which really did have the club jumpin as I threw my whole body weight around. It was only when they played bloody Enrique at the end that I got all sad but Beautiful Boy made it all better. He always does. Thankfully the club shut at 3am whereas the straight bars are 2am so by the time we left all the neds in their two tone shirts and buckled shoes were away neckin some dawg in a doorway or giving their own mothers a kickin. Two macaroni pies and a not so deep and meaningful conversation later, I was tucked up with Beautiful Boy and his non hardon, not relishing the fact I had to be up for work the following morning/day. I love my friends :-)