This morning's little grievance is hipster jeans. These ultra cool articles of clothing do look good on most people, epsecially those whose pubic bone pops out to say 'hey'. They generally (as always there are many exceptions) make your ass look mighty fine, make you look all slim and basically hot all round. So, what's MIss Fee's problemo with such a wonderful creation? I'll tell you, I hate them because other people look so damn hot in them and then I try and slip a pair on and my belly falls out over the top. What the hell is that about? No amount of sit ups could cure my evil gut which loves to persecute me by flopping over the waistband of my jeans. I have seen far too many girls in the past 4 days of sunshine with their equally massive chubs hanging over the side of their jeans, with gigantic belly buttons that could house a picnic for 4 inside them, to know that it just aint pretty. And so hipsters will sadly never become a part of my life and I will be resigned to high waisted jeans that double as a bra or will continue to wear my men's jeans that really were made for balls and make me look as though I have a baggy fanny and a set of balls the size of Canada to match. I would be as well shopping in Dash (womanly 'fashion' that contains lots of sweater material trousers and jumpsuits) cos you're guaranteed a loose lips pair of ski pants that sit around your shoulders. Any trousers that look like they ahve been designed with drag kings in mind (ie women with balls) has got my vote any day of the week and twice on sundays.
I will have more to say when I have more time.