Three in the bed romps are lustful affairs. So I've heard. Mine was quite subdued. I had adequate number of people to make for a legitimate threesome but there was no romping. Well not that I remember although I did feel something hard against my back a few times in the night. I wasn't even sleeping beside Beautiful Boy so I don't know what Queen of Fun was up to. What would my mother have made of this little scenario, one poof and 2 lessers cosied up in a double bed which led to a 1 hour sleep for moi. I'm led to believe that B.Boy got a good 5/6 hours and Queen of Fun, wedged in the middle maybe got around 2. Jeez it was kinda uncomfortable with one cheek in one cheek out, made for a very draughty arse I tell you. And how I got the tiniest corner of the bed while B.Boy and Queen of Fun sprawled out I will never know. And how did we come to be in this 'you can touch me, but not there' situation? Well we met B.Boy and his Beautiful Twin (unidentical and very straight) from his work at 4.30pm. We planned to go for only a couple but the sunshine and plentiful alcohol made us never want to leave. Not that we were sat in a lovely beer garden with the sun in our hair but we did have the whole of the Priory to our wasted selves, being that it was pre club time at 6pm and all. From here we moved on to the Hogshead and it gets kinda patchy around this point. It's only about 7pm. I had spew numero ono here but it was bitty and unsatisfying. And so we moved on to Chi in search of class and comfort and for some reason, very cheap drinks were gained. I had second puke here and it was slightly more pleasing and delighted me to know that I was in an almost 'posh' place and spewing my ringer. With us all being rather wrecked at 10pm we piled into a people carrier and headed for some herbal stuff. We lost B.Twin and went gayfully off to the 24 hour garage (how thoughtful) which involved descending a rather large hill which in the daylight seems insignificant. Cue much hilarity over no sandwiches and fruit polos and we set off for more herbal. The ascent up hill proved painful and in the sprint to bowl over the Queen of Fun, myself aned B.Boy ended up in a heap which would have done any contortionist proud. It could have been a scene from a love movie, he's lying on top of me milimetres from my face but there aint no kissing, just a lot of staring into each others dilated pupils and spitting with laughter. We gathered ourselves and our dairy lea dips and odd flavoured crisps up and tried to run, thankfully not naked, through the daffoldils. I lost 2 shoes to these pretty flowers, fuckin' mules. Hunting shoes in soaking red socks proved difficult but I eventually found them in a pile of turd (definitley human) and slipped my size 12s back in. We picked some daffodils to lighten up the life of sleeping twin and exchanged ones with each other which was actually kinda sweet. The rest of the night was even more herbal and laughter filled as B.Boy described wedding dresses of puffy sleeves and announced someone had a head like a used cottonbud. The night was just about concluded with a near perfect forward roll (bravely performed on wooden floor) by B.Boy. We skipped of to B.Boy's house, gayly once again and thought our 3some would be fun. B.Boy passed out first with his infamous whistling nose and Queen of Fun threw herself around the bed like she had bed bugs nippin through her scratch and sniff boxers she'd been forced to wear. It was a beautiful, unexpected night of stupidity and homemade bread where even Queen of Fun removed the sarcasm from her name and was actual, real life fun. Yes really.
Listening to: Pixies Wave of Mutilation