Turn ups on jeans are my new favourite friends. For way too long have I rubbished turning up inches of jeans in favour of stupidly long jeans which take the 'scuff' look far too far. I love a bit of scuff as much as the next cool person but my own personal scuff trails a good 4 meters behind me and has any random tripping over it and usually ends up getting caught on a turd which is then trailed homeward to a very unhappy mother. I have always mocked those with the turnup fixation until one day I could take the soggy bottom of jeans no more, and inparticular, the chill blains in my ankle they caused and just thought fuck it. I have not looked back since. Of course while turnups are kinda cool they have the added bonus of being practical. I mean, when you don't wanna stuff your jeans pockets to the max to give the impression of wide hips, you can store all sorts of goodies in a turnup. A bit like a belly button really. At the moment I have an alarm clock, a storage heater and a papasan chair cosied in my 2 inch turnups (actually one is only an inch and a half, i can so never get them even, giving the impression that one leg is severely longer than the other and that I really do not my very own orthapeadic shoe). Also very good for hiding notes in during exams and have helped me on my way to graduating this year. Or they would have had I had any notes to start with, you know with all the classes I attended? Fucker. However, as with everything in life, there is a downside to turnups. They do sometimes collect specimens of undisclosed nastiness which you do not discover for weeks later. I mean the other day I found a used condom which had split and hopefully not pregnated my ankle and the week before that I found a dead bird of the pigeon variety. I was quite distraught but I don't think the 2 incidents were connected or revolting enough to make me give up the turnups. The first time i braved the turnup look it was raining and it gave me a chance to go fishing (like a lesbian needs an excuse to go fishing) and out of the turnups I pulled a piranha which turned round and nipped my fanny cause it was also partial to a bot of fish so I ate it for tea in its full fishy goodness. And so I go to ponder the other delights of my wardrobe to share with you at a later date. This will take a good 4 seconds.