Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Wednesday, June 19

I got a letter published in the paper last night. OK, so it was only the Evening Express, one of Aberdeen’s poorly written, badly edited (a bit like my weblog really) local papers. But, as my newspaper notoriety extends to the photos I had taken and subsequently published when I was decked out as a fat turd in a leotard for some dancing thing then I’m not surprisingly chuffed. And at least this time around, the thousands of Aberdonians who read this wannabe tabloid paper will not be forced to endure my fat sweaty face and saggy 9 year old boobs along with their daily chip suppers.

My letter was written in response to a supposedly serious article written by a local figure [of ridicule] who the Evening Express have deemed worthy of a weekly column. He regularly offends people with his flashy grin and fluffy toupee as his face stares at you form amidst his rabble of words so as you can imagine, his writing is as shallow as a trickle of piss. Remember I was banging on about Aberdeen’s attempt at Gay Pride? Well he basically ‘wrote’ (more like spouted a heap of patronising shite more suited to a 1940s primary teacher with the intelligence level of a 4 year old) that us gays shouldn’t have such a ‘look at me’ attitude, that it was all a waste of time so why bother? I didn’t think I could ever get so wound up that I would be incited to write a letter of moral outrage to the shittest paper in history but I was hungover, knackered, stuffed with cheese and therefore had a rage that needed fulfilled. And so I banged out a couple hundred words of sarcasm and innuendo and hit the send button, not for one second thinking they would print it for the pure cheek of it but low and behold it was one of 3 main letters last night. It was heavily edited to remove all traces of my mocking tone but left at the end of the letter was my crucial piss take that the wonderfully bright people at the EE did not notice. I signed the letter LISA BEN – a true anagram for lesbian. I did myself proud with that final 2 finger salute to the editors who have such an outdated old fucker expressing his opinions on things he doesn’t understand working for them in the first place. So while my letter did not qualify as journalism of the year, it did get my point across and so I wait with baited breath for any outraged pensioners to reply.

And while on the subject, let’s talk Aberdeen’s first Gay Pride. Or let’s not as there’s nothing to say. From the reports I have heard, it was as busy as a goth’s jumper. It’s kinda disappointing, the non amounts of impact this event had. Mind you, with the amount of bigotry that’s rife in The Deen, it’s hardly surprising that many people didn’t feel they could be seen at this event. Had I not have been working I would have been there with my merry band of 1 to proclaim my gayness and hide from the cabaret and recognise the 4 faces who did make the effort to attend. What’s the chances of Gay Pride the Sequel? About as slim as a virgin’s hole.

Until next time fine readers.