I hardly slept last night. After watching Graham Norton which featured the lovely Lynne Moncrieff and after flouncing around in nasty nasty clothes that my mother thought would add to my outfit for sat (they so did) I tried desperately to force myself to sleep. I did all the usual things such as counting lesbians jumping over gates, splashing lavender on my pillow to the result of really floral hair today and I even drank milk which when you drink pure skimmed milk is a mission in itself and had me throwing up clumps of stuff in the early hours. Being still awake at 1am I tried reading lesbo porn cos it's always dull enough to send me to sleep but I was still wide eyed and bushy [tailed] so the last resort was Classic FM played gently in the background while munching a lettuce sandwich and drinking red wine (a classic cure for insomnia I am led to believe) which washed downed a couple of boxes of Kalms. 3.13 am and my legs are restless and my arms are beating the side of the bed. The more I think about the lack of sleep I am having the more irate I get so I shove on the telly and am faced with the news and some poe faced imbicile doing his best to keep his quiff from floating in the wind as he reports on some flood somewhere I don;t care about. I laugh myself to sleep at the idiocity and ugliness of 'foreign correspondants'. And people wonder why children are so uneducated. News readers are dogs. Why would they want to listen to the news with the sound down when there is monsters only to perv over. I mean, the choice is either Neighbours, soundless, or news soundless. There's no contest really. News needs real eye candy and while Kirsty Summit is quite beautiful from an adult perspective, kids of 12 + want real lustful sluts presenting the news. A bit of blonde hair, a nice set of teeth and tits and everyone is concerned about the goings on outwith the home. Trust me, I've been a pervy kid. I know what they want. Most are bored with anything educational so you might as well dress it up with some real hotties to make it worth watching. As much as I love Jenni Bond the royal correspondant, I'd much rather see someone that looks like Britney or Brad chatting away about the Queen's bowel movements, wouldn't you? And i really can see a foxy Holly Valance esque reporter chraging her way through a war zone trying to keep her boobs in and trying to stop her freshly done hair from snagging on a bullet. Am off now to think of the possibilities of Angelina Jolie in a power suit.
Too excited about: My crimped hair for el party
Worried about: Being the only one dresssed up
Hoping that: no one soils my jumpsuit
Listening to: Temptation: hevean 17