I made a new friend yesterday. Considering I'm about as interesting as a brown pair of chinos and my conversational skills reflect this, this is an impressive feat. I attract people like kd land attracts men. People instantly flock to be around fresh turd rather than hang out with me. Basically I'm a people repellant. I have tried to change many (every actually) aspects of my personality and my appearance in order to have someone show some interest in The Fee but nothing seems to work. Even when I looked like a model citizen with my flat shoes and power suit and perfect hair no one talked to me. I understand that when I went through my all over fish net phase that no one dared approach me for fear of what they might get a close up of. And after all these playing with identites I was back to the beginning. I still go red when more than one person talks to me, when all the attention is on me I just kind of crumple (like a muffin being crumpled onto the body). This may come as a surprise but really, it's true. My face goes a shiny purple kind of shade and my eyes twitch and cross over and people are left standing laughing and pointing at the jibbering wreck I have become. And you thought I was pretty all the time :-) Anyway, once again my self pitying mind has taken me on another trip so where was I? My new friend. yeah, the last time I made a new friend was when I volunteered at the RSPCA and all the stray dogs took a fancy to my leg for various reasons so as you can imagine I'm pretty excited. The fact that this new 'friend' (the term 'friend' in my translation is "someone who speaks more than 2 sentences to you over the space of 10 minutes") was a 10 year old kid could be laughable but as I have more than an issue with small adults (regarding age and height) because their squeaky insulent tones make me vomit, then this is even more impressive. Her hame is Jennifer and I liked her. An intelligent girl who was more than capable of saying 'what's all that metal in your face for you look stupid' and 'mum, this [lady] has farted' She also adored the numerous plastic bracelets that adorn my arm from wrist to elbow (the only part of me that hasn;t washed in weeks...) so I will pass her one the next I see her I think. She also related a story about her mum's neighbour being called 'Fanny' (a very hip and fashionable name in those days you know) much to our delight and her mum's disgust. That's my kind of kid. It's not that my opinion of kids is changing after one experience of a regular kid or anything because they still scare the shit out of me because you really never know what they are going to say to you or do on your leg but it kinda makes me think that maybe I shouldn't have been so quick to say I would never ever, not if the world depended on me having bastard spawn, have the stinky little people of my own. It's more of a consideration for the people of the world that I do not inseminate myself with the use of a turkey baster because imagine what the fuck they would look like and act like? Some people should never be allowed to reproduce and I am most definitley one of them. And so I go to think about being a fag ash Lil mother who'd rather pawn her kids off for smokes money than play Ludo with them.
Listening to: Death to the Pixies.