|
I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else My Profile
|
It's cold, it's pissing with rain, there are about 40 old workmen running around my house begging for cups of milky tea so i thought this to be a perfect time to divulge all the goings on that occured on my jaunt to the highlands of bonny scotland.
Lil Red and i left in plenty of time to catch our train northward but because I'm me, I knew there was going to be a carry on. I'm the sort of person that can't go anywhere or do anything without something going wrong. Usually my journey 'carry ons' take the form of a forgotten toothbrush or a broken shoulder through too much baggage or having packed dirty pants instead of clean ones. Usually my traumas are small and inconsequential but today was slightly different. In my excitement to board the train, myself and Lil Red picked up our belongings and skipped as gaily as gay folks do to get on board. As I snuggled my oversized arse into the wide chair and began to toast our holidays I realised that I had left the mother of all rucksacks sitting on the bench at the station. There was nothing I could do as I banged on the door to get out because it was bolted up and the train was moving. I smushed my face to the window and waved my rucksack goodbye, thinking not so much about the mini disc player or the camera that was in the bag but really I was more concerned that my bag would be stolen and my nasty teddy bear pants would be found floating around the streets of Aberdeen. To cut a very long and rather unintersting story short, we eventually got back to Aberdeen station and retrieved my bag which had been handed into lost property. I was right enough to worry about strangers rifling through my panties as every member of lost property it seemed had had a great laugh at the belongings in my bag and they all wanted to see who the bag belonged to and came down for a sneaky peak. I was then advised that in future I should pack my skiddy bifs at the top of the bag as opposed to the bottom to deter thiefs from stealing stuff. That's fucking cheeky that is - all my underwear was fucking clean... I hadn't even been anywhere yet! Is it my fault that period stains are like an overweight chubber who's chair is stuck on your coat? You just aint never gonna shift them. Lil Red, me and my shamed face finally made it to Inverness, this time with rucksack in tow, about 3 hours late. I still dont get it. I swear my rucksack is the size of my whole body and that's a fair size you know, so how the hell i 'forgot' it I will never know. How the hell I remembered a plastic bag containing only magazines and water and forgot a caravan sized ruack sack is way beyond me I tell you. All this typing is making me hungry which is no surprise but I will be back rather soon. You know I can eat a 4 course meal then the scolding coffees to follow within 3 minutes so you know I wont be long. Britney Wannabe 
8/30/2002 01:50:00 PM
|
Adventures of Charmin |
