Since our shameful fashion party which occured almost a full week ago, a few revelations have been brought to light. I've heard tales of illicit kisses, sex behind the shed, unrequited crushes and even more sordid, cakes that were laced with not hash but grit after someone sent the whole plate flying into the earth and scooped them back on, in their squishy cakeness and watched in delight as revellers scoffed the lot. Worse wtill, while this has yet to be confirmed or denied, rumour has it that there was no actual alcohol in the punch that we blamed for dancing like aunties at a wedding, playing kids games badly adn frolicking in the grass. I can't reveal the source that let this slip but I will say that it was the same person who told everyone that someone had entered the party and pooped directly on arrival. I don't know how reliable this source is but let's look at the evidence and see if I can draw my own conclusions. If there was no alcohol in the punch, of the bottle of voddy, the bottle of wine and the 1/2 bottle of rum was really a bottle of lemonade, 3 of fivealive and 1 of pineapple juice, would Beautiful Boy have been strutting around in heels, a frock and fishnets? Possibly. Would the J bo and The Fee have been perfecting teh Dirty Dancing lift despite ending up face first in the grass to much disfigurement? Probably. Would Mad A have changed outfits, each time into somethnig more putrid than the last, more times than a gay man changes partners? More than likely. Would Babs have been sailors hornpiping in a ladies wrap around blouse with jumbo nips on show? Debatable but it's very likely. And finally, would the Queen of Fun done a full striptease, pulling off each item of granny wear from turquiose tights to floral skirt to very big pants to reveal her black woman discs which had been burnt on the sunbeds? Defintely not. Ok, it's been proven. There definitely was mucho alcohol in the punch so thanks Queen of Fun for clearing that one up. Now I know that the shitness I felt on Sunday was not because I had overdosed on fruit juice and foosty cakes. Thanks for that. I will sleep soundly knowing that when I am not allowed to return to 4th year, having done my essay on the day after the party, the day before it was due in, in a ridiculously hungover state, that it was all well worth it.