Does anyone remember the song by Technohead called 'I wanna be a hippy' released around the mid nineties? It wasn't exactly a one hit wonder
because although it was a 'hit' (caused by a temporary glitch in the British music industry), there was no way it was ever a 'wonder'. Although obviously it was a wonder it ever got the chart position it did (number 1??). You can never be too sure what the British public will buy in grotesque numbers in order for it to go to number one. I mean Teletubbies? Bob the Builder? Oasis? Blazin Squad? Blazin Squad only have the ability to sing the word 'crossroads' repeatedly in a monotonous tone and they don't even have the decency to look good. I hate boy bands but at least they are filled with pretty boys for the young girls to beat off over. Blazin Squad on the otherhand are a bunch of burberry sporting neds with gelled forward hair who want to be black. There are also about 30 of them in the group and telling them apart is very difficult but they scream 'housing estate'. Anyway, I digress. Not having the best taste in music in the world, as I'm told daily, with the likes of Britney and Shakira favouring highly in my CD collection, this is not a rant about the appalling taste in music that Britain has as I'm in no position to tell you how much i adore the deep lyrical meanings of the likes of Idlewild and any other band that I have no clue about. All I really wanted to tell you was that I came across this 'I wanna be a Hippy' song while looting through CDs left behind by guests at my house. Remembering that we could not play it on Saturday night because of all the scratches on that particular song, I got out my polish, dusted it off and whacked it in the player. To my horror, it played, as perfectly as that song could ever play. Then something extraordinary happened. As I was going about my daily business of painting my nails and reading trash, the chorus of 'I wanna be a hippy and I wanna get stoned on mara... marajuana' began to build and I found myself casting aside a full pot of nail varnish which tipped over my novel and I suddenly started jumping on the spot with my arms punching the air. Next thing I knew I was doing mock step aerobics and banging my head with a perfect double chin. It was quite horrendous. This continued for the remainder of the song, me throwing my body up and down and flailing my arms to the beat of the 'hippy'. Once the song was over, a sweaty Fee simply switched back on Madonna and continued painting her nails a pretty colour of pink, as though nothing had happened. It truly was a remarkable experience and I don't think it's something I ever want to repeat and have therefore rescratched the CD belonging, more than likely, to J Bo so that I never feel the urge to jump furiously on the spot to some happy hardcore kind of tune, usually listened to by tapered jean wearing neds who could probably be seen in the Blazin Squad. I'm quite ashamed of myself. And also very smelly. I apologise profusely.