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I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else My Profile
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I'm going on a diet. I've had enough of catching my size tens on my over fed belly. I'm also done with taking up 4 seats everywher I go as I try and squeeze my fat ass into spaces that are way too small. No longer will my chin hang lower than my boobs and no more will my eyes disappear amongst my swollen facial skin. I've also had more than enough of people looking at me and knowing what my main interest in life is before they even speak to me. It's impossible to tell who is a stamp collector or who loves anal or who drawas till life passionately but as soon as you glimpse at me you know that my main pleasure is food. You know that I eat a whole block of cheese with every sandwich and wash it down with sugary pop. You also can tell that I exercise rarely and that getting up stairs makes me lose my breath. I'm not suddenly gonna starve myself and drop to a size 8 cos we all know that the only time I ever came close to that as when I suffered 'emotional trauma' (my biggest excuse for everything that went shit last year...). Maybe I should get the cause of this suffering to inflict mental anguish upon me once again, in a bid to get back into those slimmer clothes I bought around that time. No, i'd rather be clinically obese than go through all that all over again, even if it did mean that I looked hot in flares and not bad in fitten shirts. No, clearly throwing up is the only answer. Just kidding, I'll reserv that sport for when I'm drinking. My 'diet', also known as 'Fee eating normal sized portions' began yesterday when for 1 day, and probably for 1 day only, I cut butter and cheese and sauces out of my life and drank enough water to ensure I pissed every 4 minutes. I also necked some multi vitamins and concocted some porridge that looked like turds in a bid to be all kinds of healthy. The amount of eggs I ate will ahve me farting till at least saturday. I felt rather good about myself and so far this healthy eating regime has continued right through til this morning when I found myself elbow deep in porridge once again. Only time will tell how long this lifestyle will last. I don;t plan plan on exercising just yet. One step at a time you know. If I were to attempt stomach crunches and side stretches in order to rid myself of my chubs, I know it would only cause trouble. I'd shudder the whole house trying to lay my whole body on the ground or I'd shatter glass with the pitch of my shriek as I'd try and haul myself off the ground. The only incentive I can think of to even raise my eyelids would be to have Buffy playing on the TV in front of me so every time I got up I'd get a flash of her kicking some hot ass. that's all the incentive I require. I don't plan on turning into some lesbo Bridget Jones (cos clearly I know that I don;t need a man to make my life perfect, although a hot lady does help :-) ) but no doubt I wil keep you posted with my progress as I try and de-fat myself. Not bloody likely considering I'd die of old age before I even dropped a pound. Off I go to chomp on dry oatcakes and sardines. Divine.
Confused about: sticky out pubes Today's Likes Sneakyness Not being jealous earl grey, no milk My nu barbie watch Pretty smiles Today's Dislikes being back at work having the cold/flu not being allowed cheese pubes caught in toe nails my treble chin Britney Wannabe 
9/05/2002 01:38:00 PM
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Adventures of Charmin |
