Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Monday, October 7

For the first time since I was about 14 I sat in the pub for 5 hours and drank no alcohol and smoked no cigarettes. I must have been unwell. Myself and Straight Man A, having filled our uni quota for the day, met with Lesbo Bob and J Bo and took to our new favourite pub, Triple Kirks (the one with the bed sized sofas and video jukebox - why does no one ever play Britney or Shakira?). Being the coldest day since the previous one, I filled myself with horrendously sweet and creamy hot chocolate and snuggled up to myself and joined conversations of photography and politics. Or rather I sat out the ones that seemed too intelligent and when I had to ask 'who is Aristotal?' I should have just left. The Queen of Fun arrived later, after having great difficulty getting a mammoth papasan (a round cane chair which is pretty to look at, takes up loads of room and is dangerous to sit on) into a car to transport it to her furniture-free house. Lil Red and Babs were the final members to come sit with the happy gay and token group. In the whole time I was there I drank only hot chocolate and too much diet coke which ensured I would not only sleep badly that night due to way too much caffeine but I would also find myself hobbling to toilet twice for every mouthful I took. It would have been the same if I had drank pints I know it. I felt good about myself for not giving into the 'if everyone else is, so should I' way of thinking that I am all too fond of and it also meant that I would not be hungover and ragey the following day at work. Just ragey. I'm going to try it more often. Maybe it will help me on my way to losing at least 1 of my 16 bellies.

I wanted to go out on Saturday night. I hadn;t been feeling good all week, my legs were shaky, my head was fuzzy and I was nauseous. Feeling slightly better after work I thought I would risk it anyway. I though I'd slip down a few vodkas and see how it went from there. I got drunk. I felt fine so we went to try out a new club who advertise themselves like this "4 bars, 1 club, 0 charge." It sounded good. Edinburgh has an Espionage so we'd heard all good things about it, that despite it being a straight bar, almost anything goes. Maybe that would be true of Edinburgh, an artsy town where people are generally more open minded but transfer the very same club to Aberdeen and it's just like every straight bar in the city; full of ignorant straights drinking bottled beer and listening to the same tiresome chart music you get in every other bar. It was a large club with only 3 toilet cubicles so waiting in the queue to relieve your bladder took longer than it did to get a drink from the blonde-in-a-bottle chicks with more attitude than I have chins. We didn't stay long but instead made our way to straight establishment numbero deux (Po Na Nas - foreign for piano tunes and cool toilets) which was more subdued (until we met J Bo who is about as subdued as dog on heat), more comfortable and generally more atmospheric. We remained here for the rest of the evening where the chat was friendly and audible and the people were prettier and cooler. I had my reservations about this place initially but will definietly be returning. I just hope there are no repeat performances of 'disco' dancing down Union Street and imitating The Queen's inability to walk without looking like she need the aid of a heavy shoe. It was a highly entertaining night which was not spoiled by any psycho outbursts from anyone you will be glad to hear. I must go now, the eyes are heavy and the body is heavier.