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I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else My Profile
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 Dyke night went well. It began with Lesbo Bob hurling half a French stick accidently down a busy road which she too mortified to retrieve what was to be an accompaniment to our tea. We were more concerned by the fact that 3 minutes later, once we had safely bundled Lesbo Bob and her large shoes into a taxi where she could cause no one any harm with bread products, the stray French stick was missing. I'm sure it made someone a real good tea but I'm sure they wouldn't have appreciated it nearly as much as me, epscially knowing what us lesbos had in store for the phallic yeasty bad boy. Yeah I mean homemade garlic bread which you can still smell quite distinctively on my breath today. Anyway, we made it to The Queen's without further catastrophe and once there I made sure that my usual clumsyness had me spilling glasses of wine, my entire dinner and everything else that was certain to leave stains on the cream carpet. I don't know how I do it. I just seem to enter a room and I'm like a whirlwind, everywhere I turn I knock things or people flying. Maybe it's cos of the amount of 'shake' my ass gives out with my every move. Who knows.
Finally it was time for Tipping the Velvet. Of course it was going to disappoint. When you have such a high opinion of a book and when you have built up your own ideas of what each character should and shouldn't look like or talk like then it's impossible for a film/tv programme to live up to everyone's expectations. There was hush around the room as Nan had an extended moment about Kitty and instead of embarrassed giggles when the sex came on their was raucaus laughter. I think that was the beer and wine we were guzzling faster by the second. There was plenty of 'Nan would never talk like that' and 'Kitty and Walter did not exchange sly glances' and of course we all disagreed on who was hotter but all in all it was very enjoyable and author Sarah Waters even made a toothless cameo at the beginning of the credits (I think). The sex was minimal in this episode but I have been assured that next week will see much more action. I think the gold strap-on in the clip for next week gave that away. The Queen kicked us out after forcing us to watch some hideous playboy porno with a curlyhaired, over lip-lined Jordan on a motor bike. I will never understand that fascination but each to their PVC own I guess. And so I go to try and come up with a dissertation topic which I have no clue about. Why I decided to do fourth year I will never know. Listening to: Basment Jaxx: get me off (peaches filthy remix) Britney Wannabe 
10/11/2002 01:26:00 PM
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Adventures of Charmin |
