Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


My 100 Things

Mail Me

Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Wednesday, October 23

It's finally stopped raining. It has rained here in shit Aberdeen for days now. Or it seems as though it has. You just get round to getting your glittery socks dry when you have to go face the rain once more and get soaked though all over again. The glitter runs into your trainers and makes pretty patterns on the carpet when shoes are removed.

The rain may have stopped but it hasn't gotten any warmer. Yesterday I had 4 layers on as well as a silly hat and scarf combo and still I froze and looked as huge as Japan. While I'd rather freeze than sweat, the Winter is as equally unflattering as Summer. Instead of mingers stepping out in tiny clothes with all their bulges hanging out, now they step out in bulgey clothes which make them look as though they are eating for 19. I'm no exception. My mum did something to my cordy coat and now it is mishapen to the point where people exclaim 'is it a tent?'. Not one part of the coat sits on the body where it should. The shoulders are all the way down past my ass and the hood sits around my waist somewhere. Cordy coats were not meant to be washed in the machine, mum. Not to worry, with everyone else looking so massive I know I wont be the only one who wouldn't look out of place in fat camp. And that's without the coat. While, as Straight Man A pointed out, Winter means (or should mean) more hugs, it also equals chill blains, bubbly beaks and thick pants. Hugs are the only plus side I can see today. I do love a good hug. Actually I also love people with colds. It makes them more vulnerable, wiping the snot from their nose with a balled up hankerchief. I think I'm weird.

I had to work last night in the lovely book shop from 6-9pm and in those hours we had 4 customers. Why did we have any customers when I'm sure the temperature was minus and the rain was stormy? Why were these people hanging around town on a night like that? Didn't they have partners to go home to for hugs? Two of the customers only bought umbrellas. Fair enough but the other two? Christmas shopping in the rain? I guess they did have the whole shop at their own disposal and I suppose they did have a two on one relationship with us shop assistants who were too cold to do anything but stand around and gawp at the new Shakira calendars that had arrived. Well I'm sorry but in that cold, who needs to be stocking the shelves when no one has bought anything all day when I could be dribbling over the Columbian beauty? Britney apparently got lost in the post. Gutted.

Today I'm boycotting university as we have a 'guest' lecturer visiting us and apparently the guy is a self absorbed asshole and is bullish and annoying. It would have meant I would have had to thoroughly read the notes we are supposed to prepare for his scary visit and really I was as motivated as a lesbo licking cock in doing this. Instead, I painted my nails a shade of 'climax'. Tell me what climax is lilac with a pink tinge? Maybe I'm doing something wrong. Once these babies dry off I'm visiting Lesbo Bob for Earl Grey and a re run of 'But I'm a Cheerleader'. Bobby is expecting Britney which Lil Red the life sized Smurf bought me on Monday but Britney in her underwear will have to wait another day as I can't quite lay my hands on her right now. Frigid cow.

Today's Likes

Cute texts
Climax on my nails (ahem) (or I wish)
Buying presents
Hugs a plenty
Diminishing Bruises

Today's Dislikes

Last episode of Tipping tonight but Jodhi may looks real hot
My dog has a gammy paw :-(
Leaks (vegetables and the drippy water type)
Pubes on papasans
Debt companies phoning me constantly

Listening to: Soulwax - too many DJs
Want to be listening to: Holly Valance...