I don't want my blog to turn into an extensive shopping list where I tell you all about the things I want and the things I have recently bought but I just have to tell you that I, Miss Fee, loather of all things brown and detester of all shades of cream and caramel and sun dried jobbie and loose sphincter beige, bought a pair of dark turd brown cords with the sexiest size of flare you ever did see. I bought them from a foul shop I have never shopped in till yesterday and I probably will never shop in there again but I saw these shitty delights and had to have them in my wardrobe. I don't understand why because there's nothing I like worse than the colour of a healthy jobbie and even noted it in my 100 things about me list because I have that much of an issue with it, so why I found myself as good as drooling over these huge bowel movement trousers is beyond me. I even defended myself against all those fellow brown wearers who I have dissed for all my life and had fully accepted my dip into the brown lifestyle. I took a lot of twig brown stick from all those I have abused for their love of poop clothes but I thought it be worth it when I strutted out looking as gorgeous as I ever could in my new sexy cords. You'll understand then how devestated I was when I took them home, looked after them well and eventually decided to try them on. Oh my good lord! I had purchsed skinners!! Brown skinners at that! Who the hell did I think I was? Stepping out in trousers too tight? The Queen of Fun?? And to top it all off, I couldn't even keep these evil bad boys in the back of my wardrobe hoping that I may eventually fit into them as not only were they tighter than a virgin poof's asshole, the seam was burst! It wasn't me I swear it wasn't! It was that other dollop I saw trying them on in the shop who couldn't get them past her ankle and broke quite a sweat trying to do so. Honest! It was the large bird with an 80s perm and leggings who was eating a beefy pie at the same time. It was she who spilt the seam with her wide legs and broad feet, struggling to get her oversized everything into these pretty trousers. Yeah, you're right. It was me. I'm going now to return my disgusting purchase. Why did I ever think I should wear brown? I will never make that
mistake again. I hate skitter brown. I hate it more than I hate GAP staff. That's a lot of hate for 2 days blogs.
Listeing to: Someone wearing brown remarking how it's the most beautiful colour ever to grace the earth. They must die.