Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


My 100 Things

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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Thursday, December 12

The interesting snippets of conversation you hear while out freezing your jumbo nips off smokin a beautiful menthol:

"The only problem with parking your car here [in the uni carpark which is a 20 seconds from the building] is you have to walk to get to it"

"I put on a stone in weight over a year from drinking Irn Bru [national Scottish drink with more fizz than sherbet]"

"I know where my fuse box is"

"She's such a bitch, her decrepit face is always moaning about something. Ssh, here she comes. Hi michelle u r my best friend"

"Oh My God. That girl has fingerless gloves on" [directed at me]

"I'm too scared to tell him I don't like that position It hurts my back and cramps my toes" [don;t even wanna imagine]

"I only drink hot water with a slice of lemon" [I pulled]

"I hate this place. It's on 5 floors" [probably me]

"Do you think he is gay?" [referring to the bleached blonde boy with a wrist limper than his penis]

"Do my arms look flabby in this" [yes]

"My pussy is sick" [I can tell by the look on your face]

"Being at uni is so different to being at school" [aha...]

"I have to go, my boyfriend [in the tracksuit] says i must meet him now or he'll go without me and batter me later. He's really nice, I think you'll like him."

"I was so drunk last night that I slipped off the curb" [wow, those 2 vodkas must have been really leathel...]

"Lesbians are men"

"I was on the phone all night. Jason called me 6 times to tell me he loved me"

"I had soup for breakfast"

"I had nothing for breakfast. Breakfast is so unhealth"

"Is Clinton still president?"

Fuck, I could be here all day. It's the best bit about smoking solo, listening to all the dyed haried, over made-up, superficial girls exasperating over their 18 boyfriends and how 'up' on world issues they are. You'd think I went to 'Kindergarten for Slags' not university for beings with more than a milimetre of brain space.

PS a boy has 'blue' as his rintgtone. He must be gay