Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Saturday, December 28

Miss Fee has been abandoned! My Lil Red has taken off to Australia for 5 weeks and 3 days, stopping off in Singapore on route, hopefully not to pick herself up a cheap wife. In order to cure my selfish lonlieness I have prepared myself by purchasing the final 2 Buffy boxsets to give me over 8 hours of hot Buffy viewing pleasure. I have also upgraded my blog to Blogger Pro. While Buffy in tight clothing whipping her legs into a frenzy will definitly keep me satisfyingly amused, my Blogger Pro is disappointing me already. I'm trying to back date posts ( one of the features available with such an upgrade) but alas it does not work. I thought that seeing as I may well have too much time on my hands now and for the proceeding weeks that I could bore all 2 of my loyal readers into a deep sleep by recounting all the details of my christmas shenanigans which have have occured since I last wrote but it seems as though my self-generosity was a bit presumptious and luckily for those who tire easily, I don't seem to be able to do this.

And so it looks as though I will have to simply brief you on all the details whcih were actually as entertaining as a wet fart. Actually, a wet fart can be quite entertaining, depending on who the fartee is. And especially if the bubble bursts and a follow through is delivered. Wet farts are amusing when: an elderly reliative drops one into the conversation over tea and scones; when a friend who has never farted in public in their life accidently slips one out when discussing the finer points of marriage and mortgages; when an animal is the bearer of a wet fart and gets this sheepish little look on their face and you can see it blush more than I do when smoking in front of the parentals. Wet farts are not funny when: em, ok wet farts are always entertaining so that was a waste of a similee. Anyhow, now that I think about it, as it has been 9 days since I last posted, I have actually been on so many nights out (damn this festive period) that all the details are blurring into one event and distinguising between them all is very difficult. But, you know as well as I do that once I get a good story out of a stupid detail that I can flesh it out until it is no longer recognisable as the orginal encounter and bears no actual reflection on what actually happened and because of this, for tomorrow I will try and think of something to actually write about and will not moan about being left behind while Lil Red is hanging out in the heat as I freeze my nipples to ice blocks. And maybe now my Lil Red will actually read this webs[h]ite. She is armed with the address so I expect lots of comments from the Lil Red who actually does have more intereting things to do with her time than try and decipher her way through these lines of stale turd. It's like wading through a heap of cow crap with your bare hands - no matter how hard you look, no matter how much shite you get under your nails, there's never anything good to find. Exactly like my blog, you read and you read, expecting to come to the real juicy detail, to find a real beautiful punch line or to find some amazingly witty scandal but alas, as much as you persevere, you never get anything more than a ramble with very little content and nothing but turds and fanny and arse. I appreciate the perseverence however so thanks. One day I will surprise you all. I'm almost sure of it.

And as I wish to console myself I feel there is at least 2 beers with my name on them, not to mention a block of red leister cheese and a pack of 20 menthols gagging for my attention so I hope you all had a swell christmas and are continuing to drink yourselves in oblivion while I plunder on with pounds of good cheese and mince pies by the dozen.

Have a real good time Lil Red and think about me and I promise not to leave your flat untidy or to leave your lesbo iconography around when you mum comes to visit. :-) xxxxx