Tell me something. When does beer become simply liquid refreshment and not a means by which to get wasted? I hate beer, i hate the taste of it and I hate the way it makes your head fuzzy after only one but hell I drink it to get wasted. However, now I find myself drinking it because I am sat here, after a night with the Queen of Fun and Gobby Bobby and I cant be arsed moving further than the bathroom. There is nothing else to drink in the vacinity aside from really bad Holtsen Pils which I am only drinking because Straight Man A left it behind before he went to shake his cute ass with the love of his life (one of them at least). And really all I can think about is having a real good spew before I have to get up real early before I have to face mopping the floor at work in about 6 hours. It's the only thing on hand to cure the banging head and dry turd throat. I miss my girl. It's been an impressive 11 hours since we parted company, after we drove to the airport in an expensive cab and handed her luggage over to the safe keeping of fucking Bristish Airways and I miss her. I wish she didn;t have to go. I have to sleep all alone in my brother's bed after he also abaondoned me in favour of Leeds for New Year and I would rather light my own farts but I don't have a choice but to cuddle his football cow or hug his girlfriend's tampons . Five weeks isn't that long but it's more than long enough. And so I go to wallow in my pathetic self pity while dreamin of things I cannot have right now so please, do excuse my drunken behaviour which happens on this blog as often as I suck nob so have sweet dreams and think of cheese and crackers with liberal amounts of good pure butter.