At every party there are always those who critcise every minute detail, from the theme to the decore to the effort everyone else went to. There are always those who have bitch fests in off limits rooms and there's always those who are rude, inconsiderate and completely unwelcome. The Britney party was no exception. However, despite the small minority of ignorant pricks, the party was fantastic. Obviously as it was a Britney party, the theme was Britney. Not a particluarly hard theme to adhere to I thought, considering all it would have taken for the simplest of 'token gestures' would have been to pigtail your hair. I didn't ask everyone to turn up as a Britney or Justin body double, complete with her figure and his stubble but I did ask that they show some consideration to what I wanted as a party. Why stick a theme on a party that has been planned for months if some people can't even be bothered to humour the intentions? Why even come to a party when you hate the star of the theme? Why complain about every song and video? Why even come at all? So, now that I got that little angry/annoyed/upset rant off my floppy chest I can tell you the good stuff. I was kicked out of the party room while the creative ones took over. Armed with rolls of tin foil and black bags I was skeptical as to what they were going to do. The transformation from minimalist Pier deco to Fee's party room was fantastic. The walls were tin foiled, from the roof hung rolled up black bags which were designed to give it a gothic feel because I was Stronger Britney and strategically placed throughout the room were numerous shiny disco balls and coordinated balloons. Oh and of course there were many Britney pictures throughout. It was so pretty. I was so happy. All this. For me. While the prepartaions were underway I doned some black shiny flared trousers, a cut up tee with dare I say see-thru black gypsy frill top over it, black cufs, metallic ribbon choker, ultra smokey eye make up and not to mention wavy hair complete with plaits and crimped sections to be transformed into Stronger Britney. Sadly, despite the ultimate effort, I looked more like a fat goth with a huge hole in her crotch but what the hell. Also in residence was Crossroads Britney (joggers one and odd geeky one), two school girl Britneys(who, as commented one, wouldn;t have looked out of place advertising a School Disco for the over aged and over sexed), Slave for you Britney with homemade snake, Britney's teeny Bopper Fan with Access All Areas Pass(ha, she wishes!), Britney's camp backing dancer who was a bit too comfortable in his Juicy joggers, about forty Justins, one of whom looked scarily like the main man and the creme de la creme, the one who makes the hugest amount of effort for everything.... Beautiful Boy as Christina Aguilera. To set the part off, he/she wore butt less chaps with DIRRTY emblazed on his/her ass, long blonde/black wig, more eye make up than Pat Butcher and knee high pointy boots. Oh he/she looked so good. The fake tits did chaff a great deal but with the nipple larger than a ass cheek hanging out at least all the lesbos got a suck. The fact that the trousers were crotch and buttless however meant that no matter where you turned you got too much a view of his ass or dick which was slightly off putting when the sausage rolls made an appearance. Being a nob I even thought I would astound everyone (oh if only) with my rendidtion of Stronger Britney chair dancing. It wasn't big and it wasn't clever and it certainly wasn't dainty. Nor was the hardcore jumping around on the dance mat which made more appearances than beautiful boy's knob and ensured the dick head neighbours would not be getting any sleep than night/morning... So, all in all it was swell. I got the Britney party I so wanted so thanks to everyone who made it so good and thanks to the 'gate crashers' who didn't even know whose house they were in and who don't know 'Ikea' from my arse.
So until the next time, have a go spinning chairs while looking like an overweight crow and see if you look as good as me. I doubt it though.