Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Wednesday, April 16

The Crack is Back

Summer has clearly reached Aberdeen. The sun peeked it's fat yellow head out from behind the usual clouds and now there is a sea of crack. Just descending the stairs to uni I was faced with 14 lady cracks. Two of which were hairier than an overgrown chuff, 5 of which were spottier than a pubescent teen and all of which were in danger of leaving a tan line where they sat. That's more crack than a girl ever needs to see. What is about the sun that drives people to wear jeans so low slung that their manky pubes creep over the top? What's attractive about knowing that the hot blonde is actually a sweaty brunette? I don't mind a hot ass with a visible thong winking at me but I really can't cope with the amount of brown eyed monsters I have had glaring at me today. It's bad enough that whenever I sit down that because my fat gut forces me to wear my trousers around the fanny area, I feel the cool Aberdonian breeze trying to slip in my ass like a wayward cock but to have to witness the sheer vulgarity of girls with untended, pimply, pockmarked, sweaty cracks simply because the sun wasn't feeling so stubborn makes me quite queasy to be honest.

And so I must go because I feel the irritant in my toe is due to someone having left too many strays in the shower today and I must remove it before it burrows itself into my skin completely and I end up with even hairier toes than my dog. Life is tough.