Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Friday, May 30

It's finally all over. Four years of not-so-hard work, of attending two lectures per year and of having to sit in class with some of the most nobbish up-their-own-long-arse people I have ever met. Never again will I have to look at their ignorant faces and listen to their grating 'i do corporate communications so i am well cool' voices. I wont have to listen to their snidey comments and watch them trip over their pouty lips as they rate my outfits in disdain everytime I pass them. I will never again have to listen to their moans about parking (yes, really) and their 'I love my boyfriend' quips. However, I almost wish I was going to the graduation ball like a couple I know who plan on getting wasted and telling these nobs exactly what they (and pretty much the rest of the world) think of them. But the thought of them all flouncing about in too tight dresses with their freakishly over-dyed hair piled neatly on top of their masive heads while I slouch about in inappropriate clothes like the lesbo I am is too much to think about. So, yeah I'm happy it's all over. Though kinda sad that I will never again have the same amount of free time (unless, as I fear, I never get a job because I am so completely unemployable) to get drunk, watch hours of Buffy and Sex in the City and generally be the bum that I am so well suited to being. I could go on and do some postgraduate course but after these past few months, I think I'd rather shove a cactus up my ass than be subjected to that all over again. I wish I could work in a book shop, my own preferably, and get paid shit loads to do so and I'd quite happy spend my gay days there forever but sadly it doens't work like that. I'm sure you will be forced to endure the tales of my unemployableness over the few months because you all know I like a moan as much a i like cheese. Here's the progress so far. Nova, the 'gift specialist', specialising mainly in hello kitty, pans and expensive candles, wouldn't even give me a friggin interview for chirst sake. Maybe they know I was only after the discount card. And the shite shop with about 4 books, where the so stuck in the eighties chick with her power suit and ginormous hair and high cracked eye shadow wouldn't give me a job because I made her stupid fat ass look thicker than sticky turd. And then this is the best, People's Friend, a magazine for people with an interest in knitting and crochet, did not require my services either. Why the hell I was applying for a magazine for help-the-aged and the exceedingly dull I do not know. So really, if I can't get a shite job, what chance do I have a semi-decent job?

Anyway, I'm here today to set myself some targets. I don't know what grade I will get overall. At the moment it's pretty much a 2:2. There is a very slim chance I could get a 2:1, no chance I will get a first and hopefully I will not get a third. So, I'm pretty much settled on a 2:2. Not bad for a girl who puts no effort into anything. However, if on the off chance (it's about a 3% chance at the moment) I do happen to somehow get a 2:1, I am setting myself some tasks. They sound more like punishments than celebrations but I figure, if I can get a 2:1 then I can do these things easliy. I also figure that as I am very unlikely to get this grade that I will not have to do these things. Call me weird. Call me whatever you like. Most people do but here are my tasks that I will carry out, should I stun the world and get a better grade.

1) Having never been upside down on a roller coaster and being scared to do so, I will do this.
2) I will watch a scary movie at the cinema. Something else I have never done and hoped I never would.
3) I will give up cheese for 2 weeks
4) I will read a 'classic', if I manage to stay awake.
5) I will wear a skirt to graduation
6) I will get a new piercing
7) I will lose weight (giving up cheese for 2 weeks may allow me to do this...)
8) I will learn to drive

Ok that'll do. I don't want to eradicate all my fears and insecurities in one go for christ sake. It will be about three weeks until I find out whether I will need to bare my legs for a day and pierce my fanny (well where else is there left to do?) and give up my true love for 14 days so I'm sure you will be near the first to know the outcome. So, I go now to was the grease right outta my hair, paint my nails - fingers and toes, pink and black respectively, - and contemplate begging for a job at McDonalds. Life is well smart.