Hairdressers really bug the shit outta me. Not simply because they chat to you about their
boyfriends, what they
will eat for lunch and sometimes as an afterthought, what you want done to your hair, but because they cut your hair into stupid styles and call it 'cutting edge' or 'trendy'. They will happily hack chunks from you beautiful locks quite randomly until you look like you have alapecha (sorry) and charge you thirty quid for the displeasure. It really pisses me off. What ever happened to a simple trim? Well we all know that 'can you take a little off' translates in their language as 'let's remove 6" from one side and 9" from the other'. Maybe I am boring, maybe my hair is boring but when I say i want only a trim then that doesn't mean I want fluffy layers and feathered bits where there should be no feathered bits. They totally take liberties. I think hair is one of the most important aspects of a person and I would definitly say it was my 'best' quality (but hell there aint much to fight for the title) and when they massacre your hair like they are Norman Bates it's just wrong and totally insensitive. They always grin inanely and stand so proud with their treble mirrors as they display the horror they have created. Are they blind and do they cut your hair with bandaged hands? No, they just think you are stupid and will hail their ass because you will have 'cool' hair when really you look more like Edward Scissorhands. But at least they inflict this same hideous treatment upon their own hair. They do everything to extremes. Their laquered quiffs are a metre high, their hair is never symetrical, their partings are always diagonal, zig-zagged or more twsited than Marilyn Manson and their hair is never one two or three colours but more rainbow than a goddamn rainbow. I don't understand. And then people call it cool because it must be cool to have turrets and mullets because they are hairdressers and surely a hairdresser wouldn't have uncool hair would they? It's like they are always trying to better each other and for every inch their collegue removes they will remove four and add a colour. I don't know who died and made hairdressers cool but they need to get to grips with their scissors and just calm down for a minute. I don't pay half a weeks wage to get a hair cut my 3 year old neighbour could have created better.
And so I go to find something else to moan about. It wont be hard.
PS I have a feeling that girls at this uni are becoming a bit more easy going about pooping in public. Is this the Summer of Skid? It just seems that every turd leaves a trace. I'm sure when uni was more densely populated skids were few and far between but now I cannot enter a cubicle withough being faced with pebble-dashing of some degree. I really wish they'd leave the urge to turd at home or at least wait till I have eaten my peanut butter sandwich.
My double length sweatband (pink/black/studded)
Not having to work nights or weekends for the next 6-weeks
Bracelets that clink
Wimbledon (hot chicks,small skirts)
The 'something' that appears to have congealed on my face
People being sad
The nailvarnish I have on which I am sure was burgandy but is now a nasty shade of brown...
The vile smell that appears to be clinging to my wide nostrils