Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Friday, October 3

Do you know what I have done in the almost two weeks since I last posted? You better pull up a chair, pour yourself a brew and get comfy cause you are not gonna want to miss this. Since I last wrote I have, slept (mostly badly), worked (usually fairly hard) and eaten (definitely a lot). And that's it. I wish I were a student again because I am so not suited to working life. I have also become clinically obese due to my total lack of excerise and my increasing ability to eat for four. I swear it's really getting out of control. Even my fat, comfort jeans are no longer five sizes too big and dare I say, fit a bit too snuggly. It's gross. I am one of these people who stretches slightly upward, only to have her belly escape from the confines of her trousers and fall grotesquely way past her fanny into public view. I hate an accentuated fanny caused by jeans pulled over the belly in order to hold in the gut but am beginning to wonder if this 'I have a huge triangular bush' look is preferential to the rogue belly look. I reach up and out sneaks a wayward zoo animal. It's all so wrong.

It's pure laziness that I don't just get off my padded ass and do something about it, or at least go easy on the full fat food substances I am so adept at shovelling into my newly expanded gob. Not only I am grossly overweight because of my lack of motivation but since I started work, I can't be arsed doing anything. I have straightened my hair exactly twice. Straightening my hair takes up one whole entire evening and yes that is with the revolutionary GHD straightners. And so I have been bouncing around with ultra huge hair for months now. The only goor thing my white-girl afro is good for is ensuring I get pesonal space which is especially good when customers come face lickingly close to you, to breath their four-day-old tuna/onion breath in your nasal caveties to ask if you sell the book they read about in the paper not 3 years ago. That hair allows me loads of room because if those rotten faced twats come any closer they will be forced to consume my hair and about 40 differing types of taming hair products. I also figured having large hair detracts attention from my large body. Until I reach upward of course.

The only good thing that has come out of working and doing little else is that I have plenty of time to read. I was sick yesterday and managed to get through The Case of the Not-So-Nice Nurse which was so over the top and hilarious I found myself having to continually wipe the pool of drool that would form at the base of my neck.

And so I go to try and eradicate all traces of onion from my face and try not to get too over excited about all the hot pictures of chicks we have in our new home. It's all good and Britney is all that.