Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


My 100 Things

Mail Me

Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Sunday, October 19

I hate Luis Vuitton. I hate Luis Vuitton as much as I hate Gareth Gates, low fat cheese, people who publicly burst into song, Aberdeen, lesbos who leave jobbies scattered around the floor, milky tea, the chubby gay-faced poof who I feel the urge to vomit on when I see him, chipped nailvarnish, people who walk as though they have a 16” butt plug rammed up their arse and my excessively large hair pre-straightening. I even hate Luis Vuitton almost as much as I hate people who don’t reply to texts. I’m so sick of these ugly bags and purses being flashed in my face like I should get down on my knees and lick the sweaty shoes of the owners of such vileness.

After noticing that every second person either has an unsightly brown purse, a distasteful white bag or a combination of the two (and not forgetting the new soft pink addition to the set of sickness) I decided to count all the LV accessories I see for no real reason other than to piss myself off. I was astounded with the results. Within two days I had tallied an A4 page, front and back. It is apparent that Luis Vuitton is the new Burberry ie it may have started off as a cliquish and stupidly expensive piece of design but has now become more common that bird turd in trafalgar square. I really don’t get it. What is less attractive than Luis Vuitton apart from Burberry itself? 80% of fake accessories are mock Luis Vuitton. Why would you buy a design that has been more copied than The Boyband formula? I don’t know what’s worse, those cheap minks cutting around with fake LV or the fools who have paid hundreds/thousands for something that every other tinker has a replica of. Surely if you have money to waste on repulsive accessories you could buy something slightly more exclusive and dare I say, attractive? Maybe I wouldn’t have such an issue if the LV design were cooler and slightly less bland. Perhaps but probably not. There is no escaping its lack of design but there is no need for Aberdeen minks to be cloning each other in the name of ‘fashion’. A definite case of the classic fashion victim. You know the age old argument of wearing some monstrosity that suits you as well as slags suit pants just because everyone else is cutting around in something similar. It so bugs the crap out of me and while I realise that this is clearly not an issue attributed solely to Aberdeen (which is evidenced by the amount of street sellers worldwide with their car boots full of this shite) but I do wonder if it’s more prolific here. I wonder if it’s because everyone goes on holiday to the same resorts and returns with the same bags? I wonder if it’s because Aberdonians try so hard to be cool because so many of them are so clearly not that they will do, say and wear anything in an attempt to be trendy or cool, even if that means sporting brown accessories and matching purse? Or maybe it’s just me that’s out of the loop here. Maybe I’m missing something that they all see. Maybe the lining is laced with a hallucinary drug and touching it allows you to perceive ugly objects as cool? Yeah, that’s probably it.

I must stop this rant. My fingers are sparking and my ears are smoking just thinking about how many of these items I am going to see tomorrow before my eyes have even adjusted to the daylight. I will instead think about how funny these people look when clutching their $20 fakes while sporting tapered mummy-arsed jeans and a shell suit top that would make Waynetta Slob look classy.

And so I go to mash potatoes. Life is all that interesting.

Today’s Likes

Having caught up with some of my blog reading.
Suzanne Pop Idol, a sucker for a hottie as you know
Buffy series 7, finally.
Party next Friday. Bring back the dance mat!
Lil Red love

Today’s Dislikes

Repetitive Strain Injury in my thumb due to over changing of the more than four tv channels I now have
The Salon. Paul, kiss my gay ass.
The serial CD changers. You know who you are.
David Boranez in Dido’s video. How large is that hair?
Trying to escape those you hate in the gay bar. Just doesn’t work.
Pooey Vuitton. Incase you missed that.

My most over watched music videos that have caused the RSI …

Holly Valance – state of mind
Sugababes – hole in the head
Girls Aloud – Jump
Pink – trouble

It’s all about the girls. It’s always all about the girls.