Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Wednesday, December 31

Hogmany (New Year's Eve) is so over rated. You would think we Scots needed an excuse to get filthy drunk and stay out all hours of the night. It's kinda just an extension of a regular Saturday night except we get an extra days holiday to get over our hangovers. It also seems to be an excuse to slober all over strangers. As soon as the bells toll you are suddenly jumped by randoms who gob on you and grope you just because it's midnight. I think when you are 16 there is some element of fun in swapping saliva with as many people as you can but now I realise the extent of how gross this really is. I know it's all customary to have a kiss to welcome in the New Year but does that mean tongue tickling any available pair of cold-sore ridden lips? Vile.

Maybe I am just bitter because last year I was actually kiss-less, despite the number of lips I'm sure would have been on offer (like I say people will kiss anything on this occasion). Being wary of rampant randoms I avioded stepping out til well after the snogging fest (12-1am). I think last hogmany was the biggest non event of the year. My Lil Red celebrated her one 8 hours before me in Sydney and due to most people's need to escape Aberdeen I entertained only Gobby Bobby who was missing her new girl, The Queen of Fun who was about as fun as dry turd due to mitigating circumstances and Gypsy Frills Anon who was so drunk she fell off usually quite stable furniture. And of course I was a laugh a second, tripping over my lip so it has to be said that it was all a bit, 'right is that it? cool.'

We planned for this year to be amazing, our first New Year together. It would have been swell was it just to be me, Lil Red and a bottle of Vodka it has to be said but we thought we'd try swing a party. I don't know if 7 people really constitute a party. It's the same as last year, everyone wants out of Aberdeen or just can't be bothered with the whole thing but maybe 7 will be the lucky number. After all, it's quality not quantity right? It's not particularly lucky for Lil Red however who is doped up on super strength antibiotics and as she is my main contender I too am so not fussed anymore. Will we even make it 12am? Maybe just but I plain refuse to venture out pre midnight for fear of being bear hugged to death by over eager folks who want a piece of anything on this day of the year, which is probably the only day you will ever manage to kiss that girl/boy you've always wanted but who would never usually look at you. It's amazing what a bit of new year spirit and a bucket of whiskey will do to people.

Anyway, we have party food so it can't be all bad... I hope you all have a fabulous time and manage not to get oral herpes or glandular fever from some twatt who has probably also kissed your mother. But if you do, be sure to be generous with your new affliction and pass it on baby, pass it on.

See you next year :-)