Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Sunday, December 21

I was mingling with the stars again last night. Nope Jo Guest did not read my weblog and think, "gosh this is the lesbo that rebuked my advances, I shall track her down and make her see the error of her gay ways" but instead I was out drinking with Cameron from Big Brother. How cool? Sorry I must still be well over the limit because I appear to have lost my mind. I hate Big Brother stars. Lynne Moncrieff is the exception...

Actually I wasn't out drinking with him, just drinking in the same vacinity as him but as you know, I have a tendency to spin a tale well out of control and turn it in to something it's so not so today is no different. So of course we were exchanging tales and downing shots and swapping phone numbers... It's so not cool to get giddy over someone who won a reality tv show, unless of course we are talking about Alex Parks. And what the buggery was Cameron, who for religious reasons disapproves of the homosexual lifestyle, doing in a gay bar wearing a body warmer? And why oh why did I find myself lunging toward him as soon as he entered the door, stabbing him in his bingo wing and waving in his face as maniacally as a lesbo on heat?

Just when I worried that I was the most uncouth, uncool person in the world, the queens flocked to his side and pawed and ruffled and clapped and whooped. The cameras and picture phones were out in abundance as they all tried to make their moment of glory last. Poor Cameron, a friendly, timid Orcadian, looked bemused yet overwhelmed and somehow didn't sink into boredom as he was subjected to a barrage of the same tedious questions from drunken queers who all thought he was their new best friend. His pantomime pals had clearly gotten him off his tee total wagon and convinced him to step out to the gay bar and refuel that 'is he or isn't he' rumour. I bet he wishes he'd stayed cosy at the local bar rather than face the warmth of wasted gay lords who all wanted a word or a hug pr a grope to take away with them.

Not that I was any better of course. Come on, you know the closest we get to someone famous in Aberdeen is spotting the local newsreader having a hissy fit in GAP so it's only natural we would swoon over someone we watched on TV for 10 weeks and haven't thought about since. Isn't it?

Anyway, after too much time spent adjusting my standing position to see our 'celeb' and having well exceeded my texting limit I decided it was time to leave before I got so desperate to speak to him that ILil Red and I give him a private lesbo show... Enough already.

I so badly wish I was cool. Maybe my tale of utter cred-less-ness was one to be left untold. Alas, if I can't share my sadness with my readers then who can I share it with?

And so I must go and think about the consequences of eating a pack of mince pies because it's too late to undo the action.

Today's Likes

The Hours, book and film
Christmas shopping
My date with Lil Red last night
Non spiky toe nails
The snow - it's here!

Today's Dislikes

All this Lord of the Rings hype. I don't get it and worry I am the only person not to
Christmas shoppin crowds. The world is full of psychotics, me included
Not getting to see my girl on christmas day
The glitter that has embedded itself into the corner of my eye. Pretty yet painful.