Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Saturday, January 31

Body Parts and Wet Patches

Our living room was transformed into a dance floor, a wrestling ring and a skate park on Friday night as we break danced (rolled on our backs with legs akimbo), battered each other and used the furniture to pull off skate moves with invisble skateboards. What on earth? I can't really explain what the hell happened though am guessing that vodka had a lot to do with it. One minute we are almost civlilly sipping vodka through a straw and catching up and before anyone could say, 'Good day at work?' Gobby Bobby has everyone spinning around on the floor and calling it breakdancing. I broke a nail. Does that count? Somehow this turned into an excuse for a wrestle. Four grown women grabbing at each others' chubby bits and clawing at any available stretch of material. Then the body slamming started. All tums were suddenly free from the confines of material and there was just this shock of skin and bellybuttons flying around. I don't think it was particularly attractive or very lesbo erotic but it gave the neighbours a good show as we bellyflopped all over the place, and each other, in front of the huge window like overgrown children.

Once we could no longer slap and grapple, J Bo busted out that damn Celion Dion CD and treated us all to her scratchy power ballad version while drapped in toilet roll and clutching a wooden flower for added effect. Everytime. Even the Weslife CD was more bearable than this.

Of course a party wouldn't be a party without J Bo and I performing our classic rendition of The Lift which was more Dollop Dancing than Dirty Dancing. It's one of these things that happens around the ninth vodka mark and as soon as I holler, "The Lift! The Lift" everyone groans and no one whoops and gives us the well deserved round of applause they used to the first 45 times we pulled it off. Disappointing. I did try for a picture of that one but no photographer could ever capture the beauty of our lift.

I can't really say what else happened, mainly because after double vision Sex and the City (2 Carries, yes please, 2 Mirandas, no thanks) everything aside from the wrestling and the wrestling rematch has been lost to the vodka. But I do know that I haven't had so much fun in ages despite being slightly disturbed by the chick pawing. Wrestling?? Come on...

Today, three days after the event, I still look and feel like a smoky turd but as for my Lil Red, what a shape she is in . All that girl on girl on girl on girl action and the fact that she dragged herself around on her elbows like human slug for a good proportion of the evening ensured that consequent she is more bruise than skin. I've heard that The Gobby One is suffering from imobility in the same way I am suffering insomnia due to the all over body ache and the flashbacks. Cool.

Anyway, I must go and try and regain any dignity I did indeed lose on that fateful night. Am sure I will find in sandwiched in between Lil Red's boobs and Gobby's baggy ass. I mean the jeans honey :-)

Enjoy the freak show which has been magnified by the water in the camera and that due to the shite quality of the photos we are are featureless and/or deformed. Yes it is the cameras fault...

Legs and Thongs
Why do I have to be the photographer?
I never really thought of J Bo as an ass wipe before
You can put my picture on your site as long as you hide my identity said a J Bo
But Lil Red! You got the wrong girl.
Classic J Bo
When do you start filming for The Ring 2?