Saturday, January 3
Amber Benson aka Tara from Buffy was well worth the fourth and a half hour wait in minus degree temperatures. Even though I almost started a fight with teenage, attitudinal queue jumpers, in particular the pubeless wonder who was gayer than Graham Norton and huffed and puffed like he had ten thick cocks up his tight little ass. My god, if his mouth had not been so filled with metal I would have considered smacking his acne ridden face. I have never met such a wanker in my entire life. Granted he is a 'fucking teenager' but I think his repressed homosexuality was playing havoc with his manners and he was so not in line, not only to see Amber but he was so not in that line when they were handing out personalities to be pleased about. What a cock. No one loves a queue jumper but these kids were something else. They were basically calling up their friends to come join them when everyone else for miles behind them had been there for 3 hours longer than they had. They used the bravado of speaking to the clearly massive Buffy fan in front of me who was on his own, went to the same school as them and whom they obviously all picked on. They totally berated this kid's whole being because he wasn't as cool as they all thought they were because they had holes in their jumpers, wore ear muffs and swore. They just totally bullied him and wouldn't move, even though he told them to fuck off, even though I nearly smacked that limp dicked twatt and even though finally the staff asked them a bit too politely for them to shift. As annoyed as I was I suppose all the excitement did help pass the long hours. But I swear when I do see that dick in all his corduroy glory out in the gay bar, he will never pull anyone without an STD. Actually, unless he loses his major attitude he will manage that all by himself.
This wasn't actually supposed to be a rant about the greasey haired poof with the bogey on his cords but as per usual I just can't help but moan. So, apologies and onto the good stuff. Wow that girl was hot. Hotter than I could ever have imagined. And she was too sweet. She had proper chat to make with everyone, even they guy I dragged along who was about as interested in a lesbo witch as I am a gay bodybuilder. I was shocked at how petite she was, all over. I thought I could sneak her into my pocket and no one would have noticed, except maybe her equally hot sister who I suspect (or just hope?) was a friend of Dorothy.
I wanted a picture of the lovely girl and for some reason I decided to get my large body in too so I have this truly beautiful picture of Amber Benson and then there's me, all big and lumpy and squint smiled trying not to wet myself cos she had her arm around me. The truly awful photo of me did make me realise that this mane of ass tickling hair has got to go. And so after a sleepless night, I called the hairdresser which is where I am heading in about 10 minutes. I need a new style. Actually I just need a style. SO thank you Amber for making me realise, one just how massive I really am and two, that I currently am Aslan's body double.
If only to just stop thinking about that woman for a minute.
And so I go look for pictures of possible hair styles to ensure I do not get a bowl cut, a surprise perm or end up looking like Martina Navratalova.