Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Thursday, January 29

There’s this really weird guy claiming to be a celibate priest who harasses people in the street for money for his charitable cause which as far as I can see is himself. He’s been on the scene for years and like a sneaky fart he always comes from nowhere when you are least expecting it. This man has no shame, little personality and a huge attitude. I don’t know what his claimed cause is; he changes it every time he speaks to you, forgetting he has already insulted you 18 times that day. The only consistent part is that he is a celibate priest which he tells you at least twice before insisting you give him your notes to fund his spiritual journey to Tibet, Malaysia, Dundee, the nearest pub or up his arse which is his favoured destination. If you don’t give him any or enough he insults you to your face then very audibly slags you off to the next person he speaks to you. This man is an utter annoyance and yesterday my experience with him was no more pleasant than his being as a whole. It went a little something like this:

Celibate Priest storms up slushy road to invade my personal space while I’m using the bank machine. When I tell him I’m not interested because he does this every year, which he strenuously denies, he launches into a tirade of abuse finishing his embarrassing, rather loud rant with, “Fine, don’t bother. Spend your money on drugs and loose men.” What on earth? Could he be a worse judge of character? I don’t do drugs and I don’t do men, loose or otherwise. I should have given him the universal sign for pussy licker but I feared this would lead him into a rant about the disgust of homosexuality so I was left speechless as he flicked his beanie and stormed off to moan about me to his next unsuspecting victim who turned out his pockets to the creep.

I don’t know how he can get away with talking to people like that because we don’t comply with his demands. What he does is nothing short of begging. Although beggars may utter the odd obscenity if you don’t drop 2p in their McDonalds cups, at least they are usually too fucked to chase after you in the way Celibate Priest does, completely humiliating you in the process. I don’t know any charity that would take responsibility for this man and if they did I’m sure they’d be disgusted to know the way in which he carries out his ‘work’. He is like a sticky turd that you just can’t scrape off your shoe; he just won’t shift.

He gets thrown out of bars because everyone complains about him but no one seems to do anything about him in the street and he is free to degrade you and/or stalk you and completely piss you off. He only seems to hang around in the Belmont Street area, the kinda cool, studenty area which is probably because he knows that go anywhere else and he’d get a kicking for being so vulgar and obnoxious.

So, if you haven’t come across Mr Attitudinal Needs a Cock up his Ass, you are quite likely to do so in the coming weeks and please let’s try and shake him off once and for all this year so we don’t have to listen to his tripe again next year.

Today’s Likes

3 days off work, glorious
Odour eaters, what a treat
A day off on Sat with Lil Red
New café on Little Belmont Street, Kiloh
Pot Pouri, more flavour than healthy crisps

Today’s Dislikes

People who don’t wash their hands after they pee/poo, sick
Jean scuff in the snow
Flaky lips…
Brown snow
Powerbook – Jeanette Winterson but I must reach the end… what a masochist