Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Monday, January 12

Woo hoo. I have a theme party on the horizon! We haven't informed everyone yet (so if you are reading this prior to the text, don't be alarmed) and I hope they will be as up for it as us. How could you not be up for a Village People Party? Who in their right mind would turn down the chance to don a handle-bar moustache, tight men's clothing and massive 1980s shades? I am so the construction worker. I can't wait to slip into my dirty tapered jeans, huge boots, a lumberjack shirt and manly white vest. And not forgetting big yellow hardhat. Oh I can just smell the testosterone already. I think I will pack my pants with a pair of joggers. Big McFee. And who else do we have? The police officer. That is so my Lil Red, squeezing into a tight-fitted, low buttoned navy shirt and polyester slacks. Oh baby. Beautiful Boy is the dude in leather (official name?). Any excuse for butt-less chaps. Who will the gentleman transform himself into? Oh a sailor. I can see him manouvering his package into his skinny white flares with his little cap balancing on his fragile peak. And who else is there? I forget. I am convinced there is an Office Worker, but maybe I'm inventing that so Queen of Fun and Gypsy Frills Anon have no excuse to not come. Oh wouldn't that be fun if we all went as our own professions... This is what we'd have, A Bookseller, A Visual Merchandiser, two Bankers (I said Bankers), two Office Workers, a Fashion Designer, a DJ, a Property Developer/Cafe Worker, a Costa girl and whatever everyone else does. Maybe not. What would be the fun and where would the moustaches be?

Or maybe we could have a fantasy job party... Who would we have in attendance there?? An Editor, A Set Designer, A Funeral Director, Professional Party Boy, Britney's 'Fluffer', Qualified Queen, Jordan's Panty Sniffer, Ladies Wrestling Coach, Fatty Food Tester, Butt Double, Sex Slave. The list is endless and ridiculous so I will go try and remember the rest of the Village People while shaking my booty to YMCA which is on permanent repeat in my head and I keep lunging into a Y with my long arms before I realise that it's definitely not appropriate or at all inconspicous at this present moment.

Here's a gentle reminder of what we got so far, construction worker, police officer, dude in leather, sailor, indian, cowboy. Help me complete the gay crew.

And so I go ponder over which shade of denim construction worker Fee would look best in. Stonewash, Classic Mummy Blue or Over Washed Black. Long live the taper!