Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Thursday, February 5

Did you catch my screen debut on MTV's Rich Girls the other night as the girls relived their individual 'blackout terrors'? You surely must have seen my sweaty moon face charging past the camera as I made my seven mile journey back to our overheated hotel? Come on, in amongst the millions of freaked out people I must have stood out, if only for my period red face which was perspiring more than my armpits? Ok, maybe not but you must have noticed those puffy, mud-caked ankles that kept blocking the camera? Maybe you mistook those beefy treats as pigs on spits?

It was so cool watching that. I fully panic attacked as much as Jamie did. My meagre life flashed before me many times as my certain death loomed. It was more likely due to dehyrdation and the effort it took to carry this hefty body all that way home, supported only on a pair of flimsy flip flops. I swear had it not of been for Professional Party Boy, I would have curled up in a doorway and allowed myself to be mauled and eaten by humans or animals rather than face the prospect of walking any further while thinking that I was going to die anyway so why not make it sooner? It was so bizzare. The Beast and PPB did nothing to make it any easier by lolling around in big white pants and smoking cigarettes respectively in our cramped room which gave less air than a blocked ass.

Alas we survived the blackout and more importantly, each others' body odour and bad humour and still remained friends even after the ring sting, poo fishing and escaped genetalia. I wonder how Jamie and Ally would have coped had they been together at the time? I think their neurosis would have been magnified beyond recogition and they would have found themselves in a doorway being mauled and eaten by humans or animals. There is no way they would have coped with the amount of sweat that we handled between us. At least when our 40 bottles of water ran dry we had the salty belly button pools at our disposal.

And so I go rewatch Rules of Attraction because I am oddly fascinated by a wanking and shitting Dawson.