I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else
The original Strawberry shortcake
Remembering every name of every single teddy, sindy, care bear and my little pony that I owned
Sleeping with socks on my arms because I thought I was a puppy
Being able to do more that 10 skips on a skippit
Being able to bounce on a lola ball without breaking a sweat
Having naturally blonde hair
Being able to get up without effort and without a major mood at 7am
Climbing trees; I can't step over a twig without causing a stitch these days
Hec tic toc shoes cause where else would you look for the time but on your shoe?
Wearing shorts. I don't think I have worn shorts publicly since I was 9. Somethings should be eternally confined to the home or to material
Not having to justify picking my nose
Not having to worry that my frown lines are increasing out of control
Parents paying for everything. I will never again have so many holidays
Starting fights with my now massively huge brother who could flatten me with a fart
Being able to squeeze into lycra tu-tus with minimal effort
Making sindy and action man get it on until Bruno the bear came on the scene
Refusing to go to Miss Robb's wedding and not understanding why. Bless
Not knowing the fat and calorific content of pretty much everything
Not being ashamed of worshipping Shakin' Stevens
Not getting BO
No random hairs sneaking out and showing you up
Doctors and nurses with my female friend ;-)
Things I do not miss about not being under age 10 anymore:
Not being able to squeeze my wide feet into the same shoes as everyone else and having to wear sturdy thumpers instead
Getting the blame for absolutely everything, especially for all the food that went missing
That bloddy green anorak I got in place of a Nevica. Not a whistle in sight
My obsession with The Bitch
My bowl cut
Peeing my pants
Being a bit of a bully. Moi? As if
Telling my friends Santa is real persistently and then being mocked when my mum finally reveals the sordid truth
Eating sand and dirt which was a favourite past time of mine. Apparently.
Having to endure the turd brown dress for the sake of a psycho brown owl and her counterparts, you know before Brownies went 'street' and got joggers (still turd coloured) and hoodies (pus coloured)
Sunday school and having to dress as an angel every year when all I wanted was to be Joseph
Knowing I have the teenager years and all the rest of the shit yet to come
My memory of anything that happened 3 minutes ago is limited and so my recollections of anything prior to that are patchier than my attempt at applying foundation so that's all I got. And anyway, I have a belly or 7 to scoop off the floor so I can get closer to the TV to play eye toy. Dance mat for arms. I will ditch my bingo wings, oh yes I will ditch my bingo wings.
Oh and thank you for all the happy birthday wishes, I did indeed have a swell time which included swing guitars, mr frosty, 3 pukes and super strength poppers.
3/15/2004 06:34:00 PM
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