Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Friday, July 30

After the two weeks we lesbos have had we definitely are in need of some serious ass shaking.  And where else to perform such jiggly butt movements but in the oh so spectacular gay bar.  Was it just me or did you also smell the sarcasm there?   Although, I've heard that there are now 2 gay bars rather than the lowly 1.  Oh stop it, you re spoiling us. 

The new gay bar is called Club Caberfeidh which just screams velvet, old poofs and gold fixtures.  However those, who like my old self, have been tottering in and out of Aberdeen's gay scene for more than 6 years will recognise that we have been there done that.  Club Caberfeidh was a haven for the above mentioned decor and I have repeated flashbacks of myself and my non gay friend spinning around the dance floor in bad checked trousers and wooly jumpers to the Spice Girls and Sl2 On a Ragga trip.  Oh and also of my non gay friend kissing all the boys while I sat loner-like in the corner kissing nobody.  Not really memories to be repeated 6 or so years on I'd say but clearly not everyone thinks so seeing as it's making some sort of comeback.  It's in a different place this time however.  It's under Hotel Metro where usually you can grab a granny or a take a fist to the face, whichever you prefer.  Hardly the setting for a bunch of homos skipping and smashing around is it?  But as I have not yet been it's hardly fair to make assumptions...  No doubt I'll end up there tonight (yes ok it's true I tried to go on Monday only be told any day is gay except Monday) and no doubt I'll be horrified and outraged over the state of the toilets and the dancefloor but hell you just gotta give these things a go.  Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised, maybe I'll walk in and it wont be wall to wall scene queens and butches that look like they want to rip your hair out.  Maybe even there will be room for more than 6 people to dance at once and maybe, just maybe, there will even be bar staff who will serve you even though you are sans cock.  Maybe the amount of vodka I drink will ensure it's fabulous whatever happens.  And of course no doubt however much vodka I drink I will spend a good hour with my head down the toilet as my gut rejects the intake of alcohol yet again.  God I prey for a clean toilet.  No poops in pint glasses please ladies.

And so I go prepare a lining in my stomach with all sorts of goodies which will ensure I get a vomitfree hour when the vodka is released into my system.  Yum delicious.