Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Thursday, July 22

I looked forward to my two-week holidays with the excitement I usually reserve for the cheeseboard after a meal but unfortunately things have not worked out as we hoped.  First off I get food poisoning within 2 days which has seen me vomit almost twice my body weight and has ensured I cannot even unscrew the vodka cap without a good old bout of projectile spew.  Secondly, I think I'll have this two weeks to laze around and finally get some bloody well needed sleep only to discover, on the same day, that the flat we currently live in has been sold and the flat we were promised we could move into has fallen through.  We now have approximately 3 weeks to find a new abode and get moved in.  Needless to say that this has resulted in too much running around looking at too many minky flats. As a result of this my sleep is all fucked once again and my energy levels are more depleted than ever and in dire need of some actual stress-less sleep which I just cannot get.  It's just not cool. 

The 2 weeks my girl and I have looked forward to for months have been ruined, as has our planned trip abroad at the start of September which we can no longer afford to go on so you could say I'm pretty pissed.  If we could walk into one semi-decent flat and say hey we could make this fabulous then things would seem less bleak but it's just not happening.  I've seen more vile flats in the past 2 days than I have seen Buffy episodes.  I have been on more buses in the past 2 days than Kenny the local bus spotter and I'm about ready to pop.  Why oh why do people insist on renting out dirty, badly decorated flats?  I'm fed up of cheap blue and red paint and green fucking carpets, it's just not on.  What makes it acceptable to show someone around a flat that has more dust than a virgin's arse crack?  And what the hell is with all the terracota?  What makes burnt orange such a popular choice with home owners? 

The 'best' one we saw today was so embarrassing I'm temtped to publish the address.  The cooker looked properly skidmarked as did the crusty boxers that littered the floor.  It stank of body odour disguised as lynx and the sofa had years worth of takeaways stuffed in every crevice.  That wasn't however the flat that had the hanging basket chair complete with purple velvet cushion which on first inspection had us blushing, thinking we had walked into a bondage chamber.   There should be a law against chairs that substitute light fittings.

All in all it has been a very unproudctive few days and I fear my frustrations with people's idea of tasteful decor will spill over as they continue to have patterned wall paper and stained carpets and try to charge you £400 a month for the privalege of such atrocities. 

Nevermind, 53 down 1987543572 to go. Oh the joys of trailng around this godforsaken town in actual heat searching a flat that does not exist.  Oh the sweaty Fee.

Today's Likes

Laminate flooring (none of which I have seen so far)
Flats suitable for dancematting in
Saturday night... by hook or by crook I WILL keep that vodka down
Looking after my pups altho all that dog turd is making me queasy
All this time with my girl :-)

Today's Dislikes - Oh where to start

Dead beasts on windowsills
No heating. Eh, why not?
Selfish 'friends'
That Chinese we had last nite... yowser
Rude estate agents in their stupid cars
The assumption made by everyone that one of us will be sleeping in the living room. Oh smell the lesbo