Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Friday, August 13

I'm about as D.I.Y-minded as I am slim. I hold the brushes with two unsteady hands, I kneel in open paint cans leaving prints throughout the house, I hammer nails into skin rather than walls and no matter how cool I think I look with my electric drill, I use it as efficiently as I dance under the influence of vodka and poppers. However, despite my clear lack of creative skills and common sense, I have found myself varnishing floorboards, painting rooms and attacking every piece of furniture with my trusty electric drill. I kid you not. There I was with my butt crack to the wind, my hair swept back with splinters and emulsion and my hands decked out in tiny rubber gloves in an attempt to make our new flat more fabulous than it currently was. I've got bruises on my knees a whore would be proud of and my usually glittered nails are chipped, stubby and lifeless. And let's not talk about what the fumes have done to my hair.

It's taken far more effort than we expected. We've had to paint every room in the house to escape the non colour which is neither white nor cream and we've had to cover burnt patches in the lino and varnish the 2 tone floorboards in order to make the place habitable. Or to our standards at least. It's actually very exciting. It will be mine and my girl's first home together with no interference from anyone this time around. It's fully fabulous being in love. Even if it does mean a ridiculously early morning tomorrow for the big move. How can 2 lesbos accumulate so much crap? I have 4 suitcases of clothes despite the fact I wear about 2 different outfits (sad really). How the hell did that happen I'd like to know? I'd really better get to bed now if I want to be up by 9 in the morning.

Tomorrow night we have our leaving party. We say goodbye to our lesbo wrestling arena, the birthplace of bungee-jean, the place we discovered poppers and we also say good bye to our fat footed neighbour whose feet are heavier than my 4 bellies combined and who NEVER sleeps. Oh I'll miss you so much, doing your washing at midnight, hoovering your wooden floors at 7am and arguing with every person you have ever crossed paths with. Bu bye you total fruit loop it really has not been swell.

And so I go get my nose, my hands, my whole body into the cupboards before all the food gets thrown out before it's prime...

Wish me and my hefty body luck with the move... all those stairs... all those boxes... Call in the removal men... I'll need them to remove my sweaty body from the property once the boxes have gone...

Today's Likes

Comments on my blog... thank you :-)
Owen Meany, a fabulous book
Women's Volleyball in the Olympic Games... Rubbing my hands in anticipation
2 weeks til I go on holiday

Today's Dislikes

Still not having an internet connection more than once a week
Swimming costumes, flattering nobody since 1923
Shopping for holiday clothes
My now repulsive nails
Bastard 2-day hangovers. There's just no need