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I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else My Profile
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We went to see that 13 Going on 30 film last night. It was cool enough. Jennifer Garner is really hot, even if she did spend a good part of the film walking around like she had a fist in her butt. It got me thinking about a couple of things. Yes really. I wondered what I was doing when I was 13 and if I'd been projected forward 17 years at that age what exactly would have happened? First off, what the hell was I doing at age 13? I was cutting around secondary school in those weird not shorts/not a skirt things with bright white slouch socks, folded down with precision, and wondering who the hell my friends were. While in my spare time I was going to dancing lessons too early to try and catch my teacher in the sauna and pretending to chase the boys (who were quite rightfully terrified of both my aggression and my massive fringe). I think if I had thought about what I would be doing at 30 when I was 13 I would have said I wanted to be a thin firefighter who could pick and choose her own clothes. I'd probably have imagined myself happy ever after with the said dancing teacher who would of course have given me private lessons... That was about the depth (and still is really) of my thought. Now when I think about being 30 I want to regurgitate my entire stomach contents. So what do I think now? It's a mere 5 years away and I fear I will still be working for like 5 quid an hour, still be massively in debt with no possibility of ever paying it off and still be acting like an immature lebso, banging away sporadically on this keyboard spouting rubbish and offending people without realising it. Wow. I really am as ambitious as I am gay huh? As much as I'd like to be in a fabulous job earning fabulous money I just don't think I'm cut out for it. I just don't think I'll ever have the maturity required to be a professional anything. Unless I could be a professional nothing. I don't even have the maturity to sit in the cinema and not laugh at my similarly young mentalitied friends when they fake fart. The fact is that I feel more of a kid just now than I did when I was an actual child. Maybe I spent too much time as a kid trying to be grown up. Maybe I just spent too much time trying to grow into my extraordinarily large fringe.
Maybe there is a lesson here. Maybe I need to stop finding humour in the stupid things, like farts, turds, burps and anything genital related. Maybe I need to surround myself with boring grown up friends who will not keep me so young. I'm thinking actually I've had more fun in the past few years than I ever have and just because I'm an immature twat, that shouldn't mean I'm not capable of getting a job that actually stretches me mentally should it??? Anyway, I've still got 4.5 years of being twenty something and maybe I will surprise myself with more than an accidental fart. But we'll see. And so I go to prepare my banner for the Big Brother finale. If that Pubeless Wonder Jason isn't next to be evicted the TV set will feel my wrath. Nadia for the position of God. Today's Likes Our new home, it will be fabulous Checking up on who reads my blog :-) Miss Fee is always watching My purple sparkley nails Love is a Battlefield - Pat Benator. Oh yes My hot girl Today's Dislikes Off white walls. It's just dirt Exposed ugly toes The smell of sweaty tights My hair in this humidity. A lot of time wasted on straightening Boggies on lips. Get a hankie. Britney Wannabe 
8/06/2004 04:05:00 PM
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Adventures of Charmin |
