Diary of a Glitter Splashed Britney Lovin' Lesbo

I am a 25 year old butcheyfemme queer with rubbish on my mind and sparkles everywhere else

Name:Miss Fee


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Currently Reading:

The Outsider - A Camus

Choke - C Palahnuik


Tuesday, October 26

I spent most of the day up to my dimpled elbows in plastic animals. I'm sure when I signed up to be a bookseller, plastic animals were not in the job description. If there is such a thing as cool plastic animals, these are not it. It really was as much fun as farting in a glass, putting your hand over the top and sniffing it 10 minutes later to see if it still smells. That's not fun right?

I've been spending quality time with my parents in Lil Red's absence which is ace and bella the belly is full of goodness rather than any shite I may usually shovel into my gut out of pure laziness. Aduki beans? What the farting jesus are they all about? I will be a farting jesus after the amount of pulses I've just spooned into gut numero 3. Maybe the plastic animals section is the best place for me after all the healthy wind causing food I've been eating. At least then I can try and pass my awful stench off as a soiled nappy or ten. Not my own clearly.

Hurrah, only two days til I see my girl and have even planned a special trip to Inverness for the occasion. I will not be travelling on the bloody megabus though. I want to have feeling in my ass when I reach my destination. I'm not sure how I will cope on the train on my own some, without someone to distract me from the food guzzlers and the noisy mobile phone chat that bugs the crap outta me but I'm sure with a new set of batteries for my stereo and my gay adventure book I'll be just fine. But dare anyone crunch into a bloody apple in my face and they will feel the wrath of my bean filled ass.

And so I go call my girl and paint my scabby nails which are more ugly than the embryo which has developed on the side of my face. Yes really.